Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] About success: Some people are born with talents, however some are taught [5]

Hello teachers, this is my first IELTS writing. Could you please give me advice to improve it? Thanks!

how talent is best developed?

Topic:
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Essay:

Some prodigies have been early revealed their talents in certain fields such as art or sport while a kid may have a good performance in their career by being educated. These two viewpoints are partly right in specific contexts.

On one hand, gifted babies are genetically good that comes from their lineage as an inheritance and so they are generally found very soon within the span of their childhood. Mozart, a prodigious composer, had known to play instrument when he was a young kid before he was recognized widely with his artistic shows then still very young. In football, people admire the clever Lionel Messi who was adopted as a talented kid by his first football club in Argentina. Barcelona football club then brought him to Spain, nurturing him and we now have one of two best players in the world, about the other one, I am going to refer below.

On the other hand, an alternative way to make a talent is education. A reasonable teaching method which focuses on student's long-term development, particular learner tailoring, is essential for fostering good students in their profession. To be proficient, not only cultivating knowledge but also acquiring experience is required so schools should propose the curriculum targeting on this. Also in football, as I mention as Messi's counterpart, another current best football player is Cristiano Ronaldo whom I greatly admire for his intense efforts. He trains strictly himself with his own designed program for building muscle scientifically that is important factor to his success in matches. Ronaldo has been keenly fighting for further goals and hasn't stop himself from practice.

It is so more advantaged in achieving success that being a gifted child but if children without that favour are academically taught with a best fit program I believe they would show as well as those considered as prodigies.