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Posts by HunT
Name: Tran Khanh Hung
Joined: Mar 28, 2020
Last Post: Apr 4, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: Viet Nam
School: Post and Telecommunication Institute of Technology

Displayed posts: 4
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HunT   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / The popularity of free time activities that the US elderly took part in - the period of 1980 & 2010 [3]

Please review my essay. Tks

The line graph IELTS TASK 1



The line graph depicts how popular free time activities was that the US elderly took part in during the period of 1980 and 2010, namely reading, hiking, theatre, watching TV and Surfing the Internet.

Overall, the number of people joined in watching TV was the most, as an opposite pattern in that of surfing the Internet. In addition, there was an upward trend in proportion of watching TV, hiking and surfing the Internet. However, the figure for reading and theatre fluctuated significantly.

Looking at the details, in 1980, the percentage of watching TV was the most, at 60%, which was 40% more than hiking's, and was over 12 time as much as that of surfing the Internet. After that,the portion of watching TV reached a peak at 70% in 2000 before declining modestly in 2010. Nonetheless, time witnessed a sharp increase in how many people joined in hiking activity which overtook the number for watching TV and became a new dominant activity at the end of the period with over 80% being took up, which was followed by surfing the Internet, at 50% in 2010.

Nevertheless, there was a considerable decrease in the part of theatre, which then went up to over 45%. Finally, time registered a wild fluctuation in the figure for reading, which bottomed at 20% in 2000 before climbing steeply to 60% at the end of the examined course.






HunT   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / ESSAY OF IELTS TASK 1 - LINE GRAPH water consumption in Brazil and Democractic Republic of Congo. [3]

almost global
rose -> rise.
this increased six times ... -> this number/figure increased six.....
Brazil's popoulation is >>was176 million and 26500km2 land was spent for cultivating and breeding.
You got lots of mistake grammars and wrong spellings in your essay. I think you should try to focus on 1 essay and look back carefully to improve that. And you can consult other's essays.

Anyway, try to provide a 3 sentence minimum per paragraph.
HunT   
Mar 28, 2020
Writing Feedback / The line graph illustrates how people consumed fast food in UK per week [6]

Writing task 1(Line graph)



The line graph illustrates how people consumed fast food in UK per week over a course of 20 years starting from 1970.
Overall, as can be seen clearly that there was a significant increase in Fish & Chips's and Hamburger's consumption. While Pizza witnessed a modest decline over the timescale which made up the highest consumption at first.

Looking at the details, in 1970, the consumption of Pizza was the most, at over 300 grams per week, which was more than more 200 grams that of Fish & Chips and was over 6 times as much as Hamburger's one. However, time registered a slight decrease in the consumption of Pizza, with just more than 200 grams being eaten per week.

On the other hand, it was over 2 decades later that the figure for Fish & Chips overtook Pizza's and then became a new dominant fast food type, at 500 grams per week in 1990. After that was the number for hamburger which also experienced a sharp increase, at around 300 grams at the end of examined period.