Posts by phuong10d2tb [Suspended]

phuong10d2tb

Jun 8, 2020

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: PIE CHART: THE AMOUNT OF WATER USED IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA AND THE WORLD. [2]

water usage comparison

The pie chart below compares water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
The pie chart compares the amount of water used for resendetial, industrial and agricultural purposes in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

Overall, in the two American regions, the majority of water consumption for homes and industry, whereas agriculture accounts for most of water used globally.
Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that water usage in households makes up 60% and 39% of the total water consumption in San Diego County and California. However, merely 8% of water consumption worldwide is consumed by homes . The reverse pattern is true for water usage for agriculture. People around the world use the vast majority of water for agriculture, at 69%, while only 17% and 28% of the total water usage in San Diego and California goes to the same purpose.

Both in San Diego and all over the world, 23% of the total amount of water used is for industry, which is 10% lower than the figure for California, at 33%.

phuong10d2tb

Jun 8, 2020

Writing Feedback / People discharged carbon dioxide - Practising IELTS 11 test 3 writing task 1 [3]

You need to mention units as tons and use verb in past tense such as reached and declined instead of reach and decline. This essay is not long enough, you have to write at least 150 words. Additionally, the way you described and compared numbers is not very clear, so make sure that you organise your idea carefully before writing.

Keep trying and you will do much better in the future.

phuong10d2tb

Jun 8, 2020

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: DIAGRAM: the process of manufacturing bricks for the building industry [2]

How the bricks are produced

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture explains how to make bricks for the buiding industry.
It is clear from the diagram that the process consists of seven stages, starting with collecting raw material and ending up with delivering products to customers.

Firstly, clay is digged by a large digger before being sorted out by a mental grid and falling onto a machine with rollers. Next, the clay is mixed with water and sand, and this mixture is poured into either a mould or a wire cutter to form bricks.

Bricks, after being dried in a dried oven for 24 to 48 hours, are then put into a kiln with a moderate temperature of 200 to 980 degree celcisus. Following this, temperature in the kiln is risen to a high level, ranging from 870 to 1300 degree celsius. Finally, bricks are cooled down in a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours before being packaged and delivered to customers.