Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by djokernole [Suspended]
Name: Ph P
Joined: Jun 11, 2020
Last Post: Jun 14, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: ABC School

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
djokernole   
Jun 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / Should we support the consumption and production of GM food? [2]

I am an IELTS Lerner. But I would like to give some of my thoughts on your essay.
Firstly, your essay seems to long for an IELTS Task 2 (250- 270 words). Personally, I think that you overwrite your introduction and your conclusion.
Because you advocate the discontinuation of GM foods, your penultimate paragraph seems contradictory to the rest of your arguments. You should omit it otherwise I'm afraid that your overall score will be deducted.

I doubt whether the evidence from your second argument is based on Internet research or your own experience. " According to a report by ....."
In terms of vocabulary, I am really impressed by your range, especially terminologies or academic terms. Grammatical errors are minimal.
djokernole   
Jun 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / Vegetarianism is better for everyone's health because there is no meat in such diet [5]

I am not a contributor but I would like to give some of my thoughts on your essay.
Firstly, I do not really see your second idea relevant to the topic given. The focus of the topic is on human health, not the environment, so your third paragraph must be a bit beside the point.

Besides, you do not even attempt to paraphrase your thesis statement. It is inadvisable to copy the opinion given in your thesis statement, which implies that you have not achieved a high language proficiency.

My suggestion: Although meat contains a high level of nutrition, I personally agree with the idea of a vegetarian and meat-free diet.
The concluding sentence in the second paragraph sounds a bit negative to me. In most cases, it is not recommended to use extreme words like only, single, every, etc because they make your sentence "too" absolute. Try to modify it to make it sound more neutral.

Your conclusion is a bit run-of-the-mill. You should have two sentences in your conclusion (most of the time).
djokernole   
Jun 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / TOPIC: No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and [4]

loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure



TOPIC: No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure.
Discuss the statement and give your own opinion.


ANSWER
Since time immemorial, Nature has featured prominently in the well-being of human societies. Regarding its significance in the prosperity of human life, there goes a saying that " No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure.". From my personal perspective, an appreciation of the values that Nature has bestowed not only enriches people's mental life but also uncovers abundant prospects for future generations.

In the first place, Nature energizes a person mentally. Indeed, for their tranquility, natural beauties are usually the havens to which people find their way after a long-toiled day or week. By harmonizing themselves with their surroundings, they indulge themselves in a peaceful state of mind, relieving themselves of their daily drudgery. For example, Wanderlust is a philosophy that is widely practiced by the Germans, which refers to the custom of going hiking, mostly on weekends. Finding themselves alone in green and serene forests, they learn to embrace simple pleasures of life, from a bird twittering to a refreshing breeze, and revive their stamina for another working week. Therefore, when human beings manage to attain a connection with Mother Nature, she would always provide a sanctuary for their minds to reside on.

By the same token, Nature is a source of inspiration for the world of artists. In fact, it has never been an out-of-fashion topic, and a multitude of masterpieces have indeed been created, successfully engaging the general public in the perception of beauty. The painting Irises by Vincent Van Gogh is a perfect illustration of this point, with the life-force of the flowers being almost tangible under the brushstrokes of the maestro. The masterpiece receives such rave reviews from the art world, and it galvanizes its audience to appreciate the daily surroundings that would often be ignored. In other words, Nature has given born to impressive artworks, which sometimes serve as a wake-up call among the people reminding them of simple pleasures in life.

Last but not least, Nature also unveils immeasurable potentials for humankind should it be well- protected. Indeed, it offers a host of resources that can help raise the standard of human life. For instance, there are abundances of mineral sources such as gold, silver and coal, not to mention other renewables including solar, wind and water, which ensure energy sufficiency for both present and future with sustainable deployment. Additionally, various plants such as aloe and ginseng can be utilized as herbs and remedies for their medicinal values. Thus, if people protect the environment, which is also equivalent to their love for Nature, they are likely to reap considerable dividends for themselves, and their posterities as well.

In conclusion, the statement reaffirms the significance role of Nature in cultivating self-fulfilment and future potentials despite the absence of material richness. Hence, it is imperative that we should take care of our surroundings as a token of respect for our Mother Earth.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳