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Jul 12, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : JOB SATISFACTION AND JOB SECURITY [3]
Hi friends, I'm new to this forum and currently on my self-training process in preparation for the Ielts test very soon. Please help me by giving feedbacks on my essay writing skill (something not right up my alley) I'm appreciative, thank you.
TOPIC: Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
MY ARTICLE:
Nowadays, it is argued that engaging in a long-term secured job is more essential than the satisfaction your job has to offer. In my opinion, though, job satisfaction is one of the key elements to living happily so it's believed to be more important than job security.
To begin with, there are grounds for arguing that job security is considerably fundamental. Firstly, opting for a permanent job offers you a stable income for a constant period of time. With that being said, various living expenses is unlikely a problem for you to deal with. Secondly, long-term employment for a particular business or company ensures the opportunity to receive promotions and raises. For instance, my sister has been working for a retailer of the fashion leading brand - Versace for half of a decade and was promoted to the supervisor position which offers her a wage that's twice as much as her first one.
However I believe there are more convincing arguments for contending that job satisfaction is far more essential. First and foremost, getting employed in a position that you find satisfying will give you a sense of pleasure and exuberance. Those emotions activate your productivity, therefore, tasks given will be accomplished excellently without a hassle. It is also the case that job satisfaction keeps you away from stress related illnesses that a vast number of people in the world are suffering from. Indeed, according to the "Saigon Times", a solid proportion of 70% of Vietnamese citizens said they were severely stressed out from their current job and would always hope for the weekends to come.
In conclusion, although there are some merit on both sides of the issue. My personal belief is that job satisfaction outweighs job security considering the boost in productivity and the apparent joy it has to offer.
what is more important?
Hi friends, I'm new to this forum and currently on my self-training process in preparation for the Ielts test very soon. Please help me by giving feedbacks on my essay writing skill (something not right up my alley) I'm appreciative, thank you.
TOPIC: Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
MY ARTICLE:
Nowadays, it is argued that engaging in a long-term secured job is more essential than the satisfaction your job has to offer. In my opinion, though, job satisfaction is one of the key elements to living happily so it's believed to be more important than job security.
To begin with, there are grounds for arguing that job security is considerably fundamental. Firstly, opting for a permanent job offers you a stable income for a constant period of time. With that being said, various living expenses is unlikely a problem for you to deal with. Secondly, long-term employment for a particular business or company ensures the opportunity to receive promotions and raises. For instance, my sister has been working for a retailer of the fashion leading brand - Versace for half of a decade and was promoted to the supervisor position which offers her a wage that's twice as much as her first one.
However I believe there are more convincing arguments for contending that job satisfaction is far more essential. First and foremost, getting employed in a position that you find satisfying will give you a sense of pleasure and exuberance. Those emotions activate your productivity, therefore, tasks given will be accomplished excellently without a hassle. It is also the case that job satisfaction keeps you away from stress related illnesses that a vast number of people in the world are suffering from. Indeed, according to the "Saigon Times", a solid proportion of 70% of Vietnamese citizens said they were severely stressed out from their current job and would always hope for the weekends to come.
In conclusion, although there are some merit on both sides of the issue. My personal belief is that job satisfaction outweighs job security considering the boost in productivity and the apparent joy it has to offer.