Posts by magdihoms [Suspended]

magdihoms

Aug 23, 2020

Writing Feedback / Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals [4]

using simple but clear words help you score better than over complicated word presentations.

magdihoms

Aug 23, 2020

Writing Feedback / Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals [4]

You need to focus on using the accurate words for the context ... ✘ flourishment of social media ✔ surging popularity of social media
✘ As people become rely on social media ✔ As people become reliant on social media

magdihoms

Aug 23, 2020

Writing Feedback / Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career [4]

You introduction paraphrase is not exactly accurate, it does not convey the same meaning. Try to paraphrase the question statement for example you could say: While team sports are considered by many to be imperative for better career prospects for children, others consider them to be insignificant.

Your language seems inaccurate in developing you idea ... for instance ✘ approach thinking skills.. ✔ develop cognitive abilities
You need to improve your idea development and mention more relevant and specific examples
You need to show your opinion more clearly in the introduction and the conclusion

magdihoms

Aug 23, 2020

Writing Feedback / Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international [4]

@Holt I understand, I think the main issue that contributed to convey this impression is the thesis, right ?? but I can rely on ponting to advantages and disadvantages of different topics as a reason for my stance in the essay.. am i understanding this right .. I will make sure to pay more attention to the task rubric ... Thank you so much for the feedback

magdihoms

Aug 22, 2020

Writing Feedback / Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international [4]

investing in successful sportsmen, promising for future

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many countries expend a tranche of their national budgets on training athletes to become strong nominees to win in different worldwide sports competitions. In my opinion, the benefits of these investments are eclipsed by the drawbacks in the sense that there are several priorities which this money should be spent on.

Initially, winning international competitions does not reflect directly on the tax-payers who are supposedly paying these taxes for the improvement of health care and education. Squandering money on such an insignificant investment can be an unrealistic choice. For example, a country like Cameroon has many high-tier athletes in individual sports such as running nevertheless, their conditions are not improved due to this fact and it reflects insignificantly on their people.

Obviously, health care and education quality which has a tremendous effect on people should be prioritized by the government. This will lead to better general public health and a highly educated generation that can contribute immensely to the development of the country and be in the core interests of their own people.

Admittedly, investing in successful athletes can provide role models for the people to follow, however, this reason can not be enough to dedicate some of the public money to it.

In conclusion, while many consider investing in successful sportsmen to be prudent, I believe that its advantages are overshadowed by the disadvantages. Having weighed the pros and cons, I am convinced that the public money should be spent on fields that directly affect the people and the quality of their lives such as health care and education.