alice06
Aug 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING PART 2 : EDUCATION and Exams [2]
Hello everyone, I have just started working on IELTS and I aim for 6.5 band overall. Can you give me feedback on my essay so that I know what are my weaknesses and improve them? Thank you <3
Topic: Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking and dressing should not be taught. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Schools are said to be a place where students study academic subjects in order to pass examinations rather than soft skills such as cookery and dressing. While some people advocate the significance of academic knowledge and exams and the fact that there is no need to teach practical skills, I partly agree with this idea.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that studying academic subjects culminates in numerous benefits for students. Firstly, the examination results are essential for the academic record. With good grades, students can have an advantage in the university's entrance exam which considers their academic performance. Another positive aspect of this knowledge is that through academic subjects, students are able to obtain fundamental knowledge used in tertiary education. For example, some undergraduates in Vietnam have to study Microeconomics and Advanced Mathematics which consists of mathematical knowledge taught in high school.
On the other hand, skills such as cooking and dressing also play an indispensable part in students' lives. The greatest benefit of them is that it prevents the degradation of students' life quality. Take students who live far away from their parents as an example. Some of them tend to choose junk food as a substitution for main meals due to their inability to cook. As a result, many of them suffer from obesity at an early age. Furthermore, soft skills also provide students new hobbies to unwind after a rough day at work and at school.
In conclusion, despite the need for academic subjects for standard exams, I believe that skills such as cookery and dressing are of the same importance as core subjects in students' lives.
Education just to pass exams
Hello everyone, I have just started working on IELTS and I aim for 6.5 band overall. Can you give me feedback on my essay so that I know what are my weaknesses and improve them? Thank you <3
Topic: Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking and dressing should not be taught. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Schools are said to be a place where students study academic subjects in order to pass examinations rather than soft skills such as cookery and dressing. While some people advocate the significance of academic knowledge and exams and the fact that there is no need to teach practical skills, I partly agree with this idea.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that studying academic subjects culminates in numerous benefits for students. Firstly, the examination results are essential for the academic record. With good grades, students can have an advantage in the university's entrance exam which considers their academic performance. Another positive aspect of this knowledge is that through academic subjects, students are able to obtain fundamental knowledge used in tertiary education. For example, some undergraduates in Vietnam have to study Microeconomics and Advanced Mathematics which consists of mathematical knowledge taught in high school.
On the other hand, skills such as cooking and dressing also play an indispensable part in students' lives. The greatest benefit of them is that it prevents the degradation of students' life quality. Take students who live far away from their parents as an example. Some of them tend to choose junk food as a substitution for main meals due to their inability to cook. As a result, many of them suffer from obesity at an early age. Furthermore, soft skills also provide students new hobbies to unwind after a rough day at work and at school.
In conclusion, despite the need for academic subjects for standard exams, I believe that skills such as cookery and dressing are of the same importance as core subjects in students' lives.
