Magaret
Nov 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / Causes and solutions to global hunger - the importance of agricultural technology [5]
@Vivian798
Thanks a lot, Vivian.
@Vivian798
Thanks a lot, Vivian.
Magaret
Nov 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / Causes and solutions to global hunger - the importance of agricultural technology [5]
Hi all, this is a writing task for IELTS, which I am preparing now. I hope you may offer me some feedback about grammar, vocabulary, or anything. Much appreciated!
Writing task:
Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
It is true that a large number of people suffer from hunger nowadays despite the breakthrough humans have achieved in agriculture. Poverty and climate change are two important reasons and some measures can be taken to alleviate the crisis.
One of the main reasons why people go hungry is that they cannot afford the food. Most starving people live in extreme poverty. They do not have enough arable land to grow sufficient food to supply themselves, and they earn so little income from work (if they are employed) to afford purchased food from other sources when their own supply runs out. Moreover, climate change and extreme weather have a detrimental effect on agricultural production. For example, it is reported that drought is attributed to more than eighty percent of the total damage in agriculture. Lack of basic infrastructure, such as irrigation systems, in some African drought-stricken areas, aggravates the situation, so farmers in these areas are more likely to suffer from food shortage.
However, some actions can be taken to tackle these problems. Firstly, it requires collective efforts from the international community to ensure that children in disadvantaged regions have access to education. Only by acquiring basic skills such as reading, writing, and numeracy can they grow up into mature, skilled, and qualified adults. In this way, they have a chance to seek employment or start their own enterprise. Secondly, developed countries should feel obligated to aid impoverished countries by sharing agricultural technology and financial resources with them, therefore, they are able to conduct researches about how to transform agriculture and make sustainable food.
To conclude, agricultural technology sharing from developed countries and ensuring access to education will be crucial to mitigating global hunger.
Hi all, this is a writing task for IELTS, which I am preparing now. I hope you may offer me some feedback about grammar, vocabulary, or anything. Much appreciated!
Writing task:
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.
Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
It is true that a large number of people suffer from hunger nowadays despite the breakthrough humans have achieved in agriculture. Poverty and climate change are two important reasons and some measures can be taken to alleviate the crisis.
One of the main reasons why people go hungry is that they cannot afford the food. Most starving people live in extreme poverty. They do not have enough arable land to grow sufficient food to supply themselves, and they earn so little income from work (if they are employed) to afford purchased food from other sources when their own supply runs out. Moreover, climate change and extreme weather have a detrimental effect on agricultural production. For example, it is reported that drought is attributed to more than eighty percent of the total damage in agriculture. Lack of basic infrastructure, such as irrigation systems, in some African drought-stricken areas, aggravates the situation, so farmers in these areas are more likely to suffer from food shortage.
However, some actions can be taken to tackle these problems. Firstly, it requires collective efforts from the international community to ensure that children in disadvantaged regions have access to education. Only by acquiring basic skills such as reading, writing, and numeracy can they grow up into mature, skilled, and qualified adults. In this way, they have a chance to seek employment or start their own enterprise. Secondly, developed countries should feel obligated to aid impoverished countries by sharing agricultural technology and financial resources with them, therefore, they are able to conduct researches about how to transform agriculture and make sustainable food.
To conclude, agricultural technology sharing from developed countries and ensuring access to education will be crucial to mitigating global hunger.