Ilaniel
Nov 23, 2020
Undergraduate / Yale Essay - How COVID-19 helped me manifest a dream [3]
Hi there
Although is a good story, I think you are narrowing your essay too much on that single one experience. You can work on summarizing the first 5 paragraphs since the reader's attention can get lost easily on those. Try to be more straight and be more specific to the challenges you faced and how you overcome them. By the way, is good that you were specific on your results, in terms of units and prices.
I'm not so sure about what are the requirements that Yale asks for the essay. You should check at them. However, usually, a little bit more background information about yourself is appreciated.
Hope this is somehow useful for you.
Hi there
Although is a good story, I think you are narrowing your essay too much on that single one experience. You can work on summarizing the first 5 paragraphs since the reader's attention can get lost easily on those. Try to be more straight and be more specific to the challenges you faced and how you overcome them. By the way, is good that you were specific on your results, in terms of units and prices.
I'm not so sure about what are the requirements that Yale asks for the essay. You should check at them. However, usually, a little bit more background information about yourself is appreciated.
Hope this is somehow useful for you.