Undergraduate / College Supplementary Essay (Computer Science Major) [3]

Q:

Describe a challenge, setback, or failure you have faced and overcome.

What did you learn from this experience? (300 words)

A:

Chance. Freedom. Adventure.
With my newly found interest in computer security, I was busy planning what and how I will explore during my gap semester. Yet, deep in my heart, I struggled to mute the inner voice that echoed, "You are falling behind."

With nothing but a lust for learning, I read handpicked books, trained skills in practice labs, and joined countless communities. I spent days just to figure out a solution that worked, yet having no one to celebrate my wins with. Nonetheless, I was glad I was learning, even if it meant I had to become an instructor, TA, and friend to myself.

However, as time went by, I was falling behind my plan. To get back on, I arranged a tighter schedule and withdrew from my close friends. Every night, I put myself on trial and laid down a sentence of remorse and self-loathing solely based on the results, ignoring the process and the grind. Slowly, my motivation and discipline faded away and my passion turned into a burden. Left alone, I sank into debilitating darkness.

I open my heavy, swollen eyes. I roll out of bed to join my mom at the breakfast table. Silently, I confess, "Yesterday, I did nothing...What do you think?" Pointing her note saying 'I believe in Jennie', she answers, "Can you see this? I know you are trying, and that is enough." To avoid getting caught in tears, I quickly look away. From piles of notes and printouts in sight, I realize they are more than just a piece of writing. They meant the fear and bitterness I had to swallow. They mean the experience and power I have under my belt. After finishing my breakfast, I leave the table with a little note.

"I do too."

Note: I am not sure if the time shift(past -> present) sounds natural...

Any insight would be greatly appreciated and I'd like to thank people out there helping students like me!