articsheep
Oct 29, 2009
Undergraduate / MIT where you come from (suburbia) and what you do for fun (freediving) [3]
I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me for my MIT essays. They are due Sunday (I'm so nervous!!).
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
I come from a world where any fact-based answer is no more than a Google search away. Where I can travel anywhere in four clicks of my mouse. The possibilities are endless, but the reality is fake. Far from the expansive Internet roll flat asphalt streets and identical suburban houses. Thousands of students race for the best SAT scores, club officer roles, and grade point averages and will tear at the throats to get them. Hundreds of determined souls hoping to become the next entrepreneurs, doctors, and lawyers for fame, money, and power. That's what we strive for in Southern California. And I ripped myself to pieces because of it. Yet I don't see much point in competing when it is only to win. But I think everywhere we have lost sight of what the true purpose of competition and progress are. I want to escape to a place where I can be on the cutting edge of science, where I can research and develop the technologies of the future to improve the lives of humans today. I want to do this to help the world in the way experience has guided me to believe, the only true way I can be a benefactor of society.
I learned to swim like other Southern California athletes, to play piano like any other Asian schoolchild, but I grew up with the infinite resources of the Internet. I saw online the infinite potential of the sciences and how quickly the world constantly could grow and interact. Though I have been physically limited to the bounds of my suburbia, I have learned to love the pursuit of knowledge through the net. The people of the world are isolated and alone in the coldness of the 21st century, but they are linked together under one 100.0Mbps network. I strive to experience and add to the diversity of the people of this Earth, by leaving home to help the global community thrive. My world has shaped me to believe that we can solve our problems by putting our individual thought to use by joining the human race for knowledge and ideas; the race that will ultimately decide the fate of the future.
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We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)
Growing up by the ocean instilled in me a deep bond and love for it. Competitive swimming is for the rush of adrenaline. Free diving is for the rush of blood to the head. Nothing compares to the feeling of taking flight underwater with nothing but the support of your own body. On the verge between life and blackout, I free dive to push the limits of my own body. It is the parting of the mind and the sensory, where there is only peace. I can swim in a pool all day long, but I would truly rather play a game of tag with a pack of young sea lions. And I would choose any day the ocean over anything else.
I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me for my MIT essays. They are due Sunday (I'm so nervous!!).
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
I come from a world where any fact-based answer is no more than a Google search away. Where I can travel anywhere in four clicks of my mouse. The possibilities are endless, but the reality is fake. Far from the expansive Internet roll flat asphalt streets and identical suburban houses. Thousands of students race for the best SAT scores, club officer roles, and grade point averages and will tear at the throats to get them. Hundreds of determined souls hoping to become the next entrepreneurs, doctors, and lawyers for fame, money, and power. That's what we strive for in Southern California. And I ripped myself to pieces because of it. Yet I don't see much point in competing when it is only to win. But I think everywhere we have lost sight of what the true purpose of competition and progress are. I want to escape to a place where I can be on the cutting edge of science, where I can research and develop the technologies of the future to improve the lives of humans today. I want to do this to help the world in the way experience has guided me to believe, the only true way I can be a benefactor of society.
I learned to swim like other Southern California athletes, to play piano like any other Asian schoolchild, but I grew up with the infinite resources of the Internet. I saw online the infinite potential of the sciences and how quickly the world constantly could grow and interact. Though I have been physically limited to the bounds of my suburbia, I have learned to love the pursuit of knowledge through the net. The people of the world are isolated and alone in the coldness of the 21st century, but they are linked together under one 100.0Mbps network. I strive to experience and add to the diversity of the people of this Earth, by leaving home to help the global community thrive. My world has shaped me to believe that we can solve our problems by putting our individual thought to use by joining the human race for knowledge and ideas; the race that will ultimately decide the fate of the future.
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We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)
Growing up by the ocean instilled in me a deep bond and love for it. Competitive swimming is for the rush of adrenaline. Free diving is for the rush of blood to the head. Nothing compares to the feeling of taking flight underwater with nothing but the support of your own body. On the verge between life and blackout, I free dive to push the limits of my own body. It is the parting of the mind and the sensory, where there is only peace. I can swim in a pool all day long, but I would truly rather play a game of tag with a pack of young sea lions. And I would choose any day the ocean over anything else.