sforz2004
Jun 28, 2021
Writing Feedback / Driving to shop in large urban malls instead of driving to small town-center retailers [2]
are there somebody can help me with this essay and give me an IELTS score :)
There is an increasing preference for driving to shop in large urban malls instead of driving to small town-center retailers. This leads to a number of consequences, including a rise in cars. Although there are some benefits of this trend, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks.
On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of driving to large out-of-town stores. To begin with, shopping in city-suburban relieve pressure on housing supply systems. This is because shopping at out-of-town stores encourages people to move to out-of-town areas for living. To illustrate, Ho Chi Minh city is faced with overpopulation so when these citizens moved to other suburban places such as the Nha Be district will reduce the number of people living in the central of the city. In addition, the air pollution will reduce when there are fewer cars in city centers. In Ho Chi Minh city, when people move to Cu Chi for shopping, the gases from the exhaust will decrease in District 1.
On the other hand, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Firstly, local people will be put into inconvenience since they are difficult in traveling to a distant place to shop. For example, a lot of people living in District 6 do not have their private cars and it seems to be long-distance when they want to buy something at Dau Moi Market in Hoc Mon or Cu Chi. Secondly, driving to large out-of-town stores increase the unemployment rate in the local area because more malls will be located at other ot-of-town stores. When more stores open in out-of-town areas, these employers want to recruit their employees who live in nearer places in order to convenience in works. It might cause to unbalance career rate in that city.
In conclusion, while I recognized the possible advantages of this trend, I believe these advantages are overshadowed by the disadvantages of the aforementioned arguments.
are there somebody can help me with this essay and give me an IELTS score :)
Shopping location preferences
There is an increasing preference for driving to shop in large urban malls instead of driving to small town-center retailers. This leads to a number of consequences, including a rise in cars. Although there are some benefits of this trend, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks.
On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of driving to large out-of-town stores. To begin with, shopping in city-suburban relieve pressure on housing supply systems. This is because shopping at out-of-town stores encourages people to move to out-of-town areas for living. To illustrate, Ho Chi Minh city is faced with overpopulation so when these citizens moved to other suburban places such as the Nha Be district will reduce the number of people living in the central of the city. In addition, the air pollution will reduce when there are fewer cars in city centers. In Ho Chi Minh city, when people move to Cu Chi for shopping, the gases from the exhaust will decrease in District 1.
On the other hand, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Firstly, local people will be put into inconvenience since they are difficult in traveling to a distant place to shop. For example, a lot of people living in District 6 do not have their private cars and it seems to be long-distance when they want to buy something at Dau Moi Market in Hoc Mon or Cu Chi. Secondly, driving to large out-of-town stores increase the unemployment rate in the local area because more malls will be located at other ot-of-town stores. When more stores open in out-of-town areas, these employers want to recruit their employees who live in nearer places in order to convenience in works. It might cause to unbalance career rate in that city.
In conclusion, while I recognized the possible advantages of this trend, I believe these advantages are overshadowed by the disadvantages of the aforementioned arguments.
