Posts by t3miml

t3miml

Jul 28, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Process- Sugar production from the sugar cane. [5]

@Vanphan
Thanks for your suggestion ^^ I agree that "separating" is a proper choice for the latter one

t3miml

Jul 27, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Process- Sugar production from the sugar cane. [5]

@Holt
Thank you a lot for your revising ^^ That "graph" was such an absurd mistake of mine. About the trending statement, initially, I hesitated to consider whether to acknowledge the first two stages (growing and harvesting sugar canes) as a part of the process or not, since the question mentions "making sugar from sugar canes", which means the input of this whole process must be sugar canes. That was why I decided to write about these stages in the overall paragraph and began the last more specific paragraphs at the third stage (whose input is sugar canes). But after reading your comment, I have now learned a lesson that I should adhere to the displayed process instead of trying to do something different and more complicated.

Besides those mentioned mistakes, do you have any more comments about my essay's sentence structure and vocabulary used?

t3miml

Jul 26, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Process- Sugar production from the sugar cane. [5]

Sweet carbohydrates

The graph illustrates the process through which sugar is produced from sugar cane.
Overall, after being cultivated for one year to one and a half years, sugar canes are harvested by hand or machine, removed all the leaves to become the raw material which is the main input of a five-step procedure of extracting and purifying sugar.

To obtain the juice rich in sugar, a crushing machine is used to drain the liquid from the fibre structure of sugar canes, leaving the dry solid waste. The juice is then cleaned by a limestone filter which removes the remaining solid pieces and other impurities. After these two procedures, a purified sugar juice is produced.

The purified sugar liquid is then evaporated by heat to eliminate a partial amount of water. The major purpose of this step is to obtain a syrup containing sugar at a smaller concentration, which is crucial for sugar crystallization in the following steps. To yield the partition of sugar crystals from the semi-liquid part, a centrifuge is used, separates solid and liquid parts due to the centrifugal force at high spinning speed and the density difference. In the last step, sugar crystals are placed in a container to be cooled down and dry and become the finished product of the whole manufacturing process.