Writing Feedback / Writing task 2; As well as making financial profit, businesses should also express their social role [2]

Please helps me to check this essay! thanks in advance.

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

THIS IS MY ESSAY:
Some argued that the public responsibilities of a company would be associated with making money. From my point of view, Having responsibilities socially brings enormous advantages to an enterprise.

Firstly, when taking part in social activities such as women's rights, charity, and fighting for global warming, businesses have a chance to improve customer's perception of their brand. As a result, their sales and fame exceeded their expectations. For example, in July 2021, King Crab - a new swapling startup in Vietnam, had over 400.000 access to their website, after organizing a charity meal for the poor in Ho Chi Minh. Secondly, Companies could attract more talent to work for them. This is because people could see the culture and work environment of an enterprise committing to improve the world and treat all people and the improvement of a company in the long term is secured by people who believe and want to be delicate for them.

In conclusion, it seems to me that when businesses express their social role it would have positive effects on both their growth and people.