jaden712
Dec 9, 2021
Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] A gap year instead of moving immediately to university to work or to travel [2]
I would like to be thankful and hope you leave any feedback for my essay and (if possible) give me an average band based on IELTS criteria.
Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school university to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
My essay:
There has been an accelerating trend of breaking for a year instead of moving immediately to university to work or travel. This phenomenon has some shortcomings in few aspects, the benefits are overwhelmed.
Taking a year out is associated with many disadvantages. This is firstly because, if school-leavers enter real life when they have just enter adulthood, they will get into a lot of trouble such as financial problems or uncomfortable environment. For instance, to earn a living, gap year student have to do physical demanding job. In addition, a year is a long time so that they feel hard to continue academics. As a result, classmates may leave them behind, which lead to depression and stress.
The advantages of pausing your studies for working or traveling, nevertheless, are more significant than its drawbacks. An important reason is that youngster can gain broader perspective of life. This means that those will have a chance to access diverse culture setting or different geographical context. Besides, choosing to take intentional time off is a way to reflect and develop new skills. These help students truly understand which career they want to do in the future.
In conclusion, there are many benefits of taking a gap year which outweigh its shortcomings. For these reason, students should give themselves an opportunity to explore the world and their own through a gap year.
I would like to be thankful and hope you leave any feedback for my essay and (if possible) give me an average band based on IELTS criteria.
ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TAKING A GAP YEAR
Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school university to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
My essay:
There has been an accelerating trend of breaking for a year instead of moving immediately to university to work or travel. This phenomenon has some shortcomings in few aspects, the benefits are overwhelmed.
Taking a year out is associated with many disadvantages. This is firstly because, if school-leavers enter real life when they have just enter adulthood, they will get into a lot of trouble such as financial problems or uncomfortable environment. For instance, to earn a living, gap year student have to do physical demanding job. In addition, a year is a long time so that they feel hard to continue academics. As a result, classmates may leave them behind, which lead to depression and stress.
The advantages of pausing your studies for working or traveling, nevertheless, are more significant than its drawbacks. An important reason is that youngster can gain broader perspective of life. This means that those will have a chance to access diverse culture setting or different geographical context. Besides, choosing to take intentional time off is a way to reflect and develop new skills. These help students truly understand which career they want to do in the future.
In conclusion, there are many benefits of taking a gap year which outweigh its shortcomings. For these reason, students should give themselves an opportunity to explore the world and their own through a gap year.
