Posts by cialit0506

cialit0506

Nov 10, 2009

Graduate / Pls Review "Motivation for Application and Career Goals" essay for NUS [4]

Dear Kevin & Alexandr,

Thanks so much for reviewing my essays eventhough I have closed it...

I really appreciate your efforts...

The reason of me closing the thread - my seniors (who are working as analysts) looked through the essays, and gave me so much pointers that I really have to overhaul this piece of work (however reluctant I feel)...

If you don't mind, I would re-submit my essays within the next few weeks... Hopefully it will look much better then :-)

THanks again for being so kind!

cialit0506

Nov 7, 2009

Scholarship / Motivational essay for scholarship at cbs. [4]

Hi Marcus,

It's a good essay, I like it.

Here's some corrections that might make the essay flow better:

Again, studying Finance involves projectioning and insinuating the global monetary flow. Inflation, standard of living and other macro-economic indicators give a view of how the monetary system in the country works and therefore if one is to achieve a greater success in improving the life standards of individuals in the country, knowledge of this will be keen.

Furthermore, apart from helping my country with the knowledge obtained , studying Finance will also greatly benefit me . This is because Finance gives me closure on how the financial world operates and if I am to thrive in any business, knowledge of this would make me a stand-out . Any business I involve myself in would be with the global mindset I would create a foreign market to advertise my goods, expertise to the world.

Last but not the least, I believe being granted a scholarship by the Copenhagen School of Business would not only benefit me, but also the entire student body. My fellow students would also benefit from my experiences and also give an opportunity for CBS to create a person for the world of today and tomorrow.

My long-term plan is to work in my country's Ministry of Finance. Key to this would be a broad, appreciative and technical know-how on how the monetary system works. I seek to be an efficient and versatile person who is teachable and works as a professional in any line of work or duty I find myself.

After my graduate studies, I would like to return to my country and teach Economics at the Senior High School level. This is due to the firm interest I have in the course and also an opportunity to impart expatriate knowledge to the students in Ghana.

I would like to do this for about five years before I move into a business consortium of my own where projects about delivering portable drinking water to rural communities would be a main focus.

After successfully delivering my objective by providing clean drinking water to as much rural communities as possible, I would also enter into farming to exploit the vast opportunities at our disposal as developing countries. This is also of keen interest as farming communities would need assistance at all forms and I will be willing to provide first to develop our farming as developing country and then for the purposes of profit making.

My desire to offer support to deprived communities and also to be a good policy maker in my country at the Ministry of Finance started at the Senior High School Level when I chose to study Economics among other subjects. This desire was nurtured and well pursued as I developed more interest in Economics. This was one of the major reasons why I chose to offer Economics at the Undergraduate level.

As a student , I did well with impressive results in my first year. During my third year of study at the University, an unfortunate event happened as I lost my father who was taking care of me at the time. This created an academical (do you mean emotional?) imbalance and saw me struggle with some courses the next few semesters. However, I was able to recover and in my final year managed to complete my University with a first degree in Economics.

I took to managing my expenses through some business I created when I was in the second year. I developed a new way of restoring the contacts in people's phone so that they could still have access to their contacts when they lose ]their phones' contacts. I created a password profile for each of my clients and this brought great relief as I made some money to cater for my expenses and also triumphed in my niftiness.

In my final year, my project and dissertation involved the study of the school- feeding programme and my group members (four of them ) and I learnt a lot that dealt with the discrepancies found in the policy and its implementation. This motivated me in finding out more and stirred my desire in wanting to be involved in matters in the financial sector which involved monitoring.

Being involved in decision making and leadership qualities, something remarkable happened that gave me a lot of edge to demonstrate what I had in me.

My hostel organized a clean up exercise during my third year at the university. We were divided into groups and each of us was given a quota to clean so that by the end we all would have cleared two acres of land and gotten rid of weeds and filth that sprung mosquitoes. Work was scheduled for the weekends and was supposed to go on for at least a month.

I assumed leadership of the group. My first plan of action was to find a way of finishing our quota so that we would have free weekends for our books as this seem to be the only militating factor against the exercise. This meant that we would have to work harder . I scheduled my team to meet twice a week to deliberate ideas on how we could finish up early and still not do a shoddy job.

But, we lacked the proper tools and equipments.And not wanting to squeeze (please use a different word, such as invest) any money in the project , we brought our work from the weekends to the weekdays in the evening when we all had free days so we could use other people's tools. We completed our work before the schedule and I encouraged school children from the vicinity to help the other groups. We ended up clearing more than our portion and gave the other group a hand.also helped the other groups.

In the end work was successfully done with barely a week to go and we could still attend to our books (do you mean - attend to our studies?)while our colleagues worked.

I am proud to say that all of these experiences give me a great privilege and opportunity to give what I can offer to the Copenhagen Business School.

cialit0506

Nov 7, 2009

Graduate / Pls Review "Motivation for Application and Career Goals" essay for NUS [4]

Dear All,

Nice to meet you ppl! This is my first posting on EssayForum.com.

Basically, I want to read the Master of Social Science (Applied Economics) in NUS. Hence, I've written an application essay. However, my knowledge in Economics is limited as I graduated in Chemical Engineering. But, I'm sure of my interest in Economics and want to deepen my understanding on the topic.

Would appreciate if I can get any feedbacks on the following:

Does the essay sound coherent/logical?

- Is the flow smooth?

- Am I answering the questions?

- Does it sound fake?

Here's the essays (3 parts, with a maximum world limit of 400 words for each):

Please state as concisely as possible:
(a) why you are applying for the graduate degree and scholarship (if applicable):

Part of the team that was seconded to restructure Sime Darby Industrial Power (SDIP), a recently acquired company, I was granted an early promotion for a turnaround job well done.

Setting up branches in Borneo and implementing cost-optimization measures were enriching experiences. But, deep down I constantly asked myself, "Is this really what I want?" The answer to that question, and my commitment to intellectual inquiry - led me to make an important decision in my life.

The decision - to read a Masters in Applied Economics at the National University of Singapore (NUS).

Unlike other colleagues who had returned to business school, I'm not keen to pursue wealth at the expense of the other passion in my life. After careful examination, I realized that my passion lay in learning and applying economics theory in my daily chores.

Whilst that might sound dull, I find the process mentally stimulating. As a subject of both arts and science, applied economics is defined by precise rules, principles and axioms. Yet there was tremendous scope for self expression in the form of interpretation and analysis. And, the thought of reading the "International Trade and Finance" elective in NUS excites me even more.

Sadly, my passion couldn't be fully developed in SDIP. The operational nature of our work and my frequent overseas travels also exacerbated my scant understanding of economics. And I know that I lack the foundational economics concepts upon which practical experience is built.

Thus, I believe that the Masters in Applied Economics is the right path for me to gain this knowledge. Just as there's no substitute for experience, there's no substitute for the classroom environment. NUS's collaborative culture would allow me to receive formal and informal training from the faculty, guest speakers and fellow students that would be difficult to receive outside of a university setting. This is a view shared by Lim Char Char (Class of 2007 - BEng in Chemical Engineering), who described NUS as an "intellectual boot camp" where students care more about learning and teamwork than competing with each other. And, this is precisely the type of situation in which I thrive.

In my life, I've learned to trust my instinct because it's led me from one wonderful experience to another in just 25 years. Now, my instinct's telling me in no uncertain terms to read the Masters in Applied Economics in NUS.

Please state as concisely as possible:
(b) your career goals, and how the graduate degree would benefit you and your country:

After graduating from the NUS, I would join the Singapore office of Capital Dynamics (CD) Pte Ltd as an Economics Analyst. And I'll focus on analyzing the economies of Southeast Asia's 10 members.

After talking to Woei Ling, a former analyst of CD, I'm convinced that I'm up for the job. The long work hours and the huge amount of reading needed do not daunt me, not even a bit. That's because I believe that this role will finally allow me to fulfill my passion of learning and applying core theories in economics.

In the current information age, it seems easy to gather and analyze indicators such as inflation rate and GDP growth. But, determining the relationships between these indicators is definitely not easy. Even more difficult - using these relationships to predict the next move of the economy.

And, this is an area in which I can shine. I'm convinced that my exposure of working in both a developing country (Malaysia) and an advanced country (England) will help me to understand the sentiments of the various factions of people in society. Plus, the frequent job travels around Asia have also greatly expanded my perception on how different countries trade between each other. Relying on such insights, I have a more balanced viewpoint on Southeast Asia's economy. Hence, I'm able to make good foresights regarding our region's economy.

By sustaining high standards in my work at CD, I'm confident of being promoted to the post of Head of Economics Analyst in 5 years. Moreover, I'll volunteer to coach the younger and less experienced analysts in all of CD's Asian offices. By being their mentor, I'll impart my on-the-job knowledge to them. As most of the analysts are based in CD's Malaysia offices, I'm proud to lead a group of people who give unbiased report to my fellow countrymen. I believe that every little step helps in broadening the economics knowledge of the Malaysian public.

On top of functioning as a "passport" into CD, the Masters of Applied Economics allows me to tap into the knowledge and experience of a diverse body of students and teachers. The exposure to such a stellar group of people will help me to become a more well-rounded person. Plus, these relationships would be an ongoing resource to compare issues in different trades. This is especially important for my career, because as a good Economics Analyst, I'll have to be well-versed with all industries, and how they affect each other and the countries that they operate in.

Last but not least, I look forward to joining the FASS Mentorship Programme (FMP). To me, the FMP is a melting pot of ideas as each participant brings his or her unique insight and experience to the group. And, I'd be pleased to share my know-how in turning around SDIP, especially the simple yet effective procedures that reduced downtime and maximized my mechanics' yield. By sharing our knowledge, we could all be better people that ultimately contribute to a better society.

Please state as concisely as possible:
(c) [For non-Singaporeans] why you will return to your home country upon completing your coursework, or if not, why:

As much as I love Malaysia, it's highly unlikely that I'll return directly after my graduation to serve her.

This is because I'll take up the Service Obligation Scheme (SOS). Thus, it's very probable that I'll have to serve in Singapore for the next 3 years.

Moreover, I'm very sure of my career path after my graduation. I've done extensive research on CD, its culture, and its growth prospects. And, I'm certain that I'll be part of its growth within the next decade. Whilst it's good to have an open mind, I haven't come across any compelling opportunities for me to do so yet.