cmakenna
Sep 4, 2022
Undergraduate / Finding Insight, Purpose and Potential in Chaos_QuestBridge Biographical Essay [2]
Hi! I'm looking for anyone to read through my bio essay for the Questbridge NM application, and comment any suggestions on grammar, flow, topic, etc.
I was aiming to tell my story through a sort of montage sequence, but I want to make sure that I execute that idea properly.
I also struggled with the 800 word limit as there are a lot of factors that are a major part of my story/background and help to explain my situation, so let me know if some sentences are too concise or abrupt.
Thank you!!!!
Prompt:
We want to know the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your successes. Please describe how the most influential factors and challenges in your life have shaped you into the person you are today . . .
It's another late night squinting through the dim light in our old blue minivan to steal another chapter or ten out of Sean Carroll's latest, before my mom wakes up and confiscates the flashlight. I love learning, and homeschooled, this is where I do a lot of it - observing cascades of sunlight or basking in book after book. This is where I grow up, lost in glossy images of cotton candy nebulae and glittering galaxy clusters illuminating the pages of books as big as I am. Immersed in the works of Stephen Hawking and Brian Greene by the time I'm five - this is where it first ignites, an inexhaustible spark at my core, set ablaze by the cataclysmic wonders of our universe. This is where I first find a sense of purpose in the chaos from which all things are birthed. I'm young, but old enough to realize other kids don't have to spend nearly as much time in the car, in hotels, or sleeping four to a pull-out in their grandparents' family room. My circumstances seem bleak sometimes, but even in the face of illnesses, assault and surgeries, I learn to persevere. Regardless of our circumstances, my mother always transforms what little we have into something magical. It's like Christmas morning every time I wake to find newly upcycled outfits, captivating intellectual challenges, or notes woven with timely words of wisdom. I gain a strong appreciation for the beauty that can be manifested from madness. I long to wake the latent potential hidden in the chaos around me.
My dad's business revived, we finally find ourselves with a home of our own. Everything has a place, including me. Birthday gifts mean once unaffordable Raspberry Pi and Arduino sets, with which I build everything from robotic arms to computers. Unfortunately, disaster strikes once more and it feels like the wind's been knocked out of me all over again. The real tears come when I find myself in a hospital room filled with the overwhelming stench of rubbing alcohol and dread. My dad's cancer has taken a rough turn and the outcome is dangerously uncertain. Every two hours I take turns pumping nutrients down his feeding tube. I help instruct my sisters' coursework. United in our struggle, my family grows closer than ever. Sometimes chaos is a powerful teacher.
My dad begins a long road to recovery, but we're starting from ground zero again. Now managing mountains of medical bills, we learn my father's most trusted employee has taken his company for everything. We lose it all, our house, my tutors, but we're the lucky ones. I empathize, more than ever, with others' suffering, and arrange outreach projects to fight hunger, cancer and inequalities.
Financial difficulties continue to bar me from opportunities like costly college classes or elite academic programs, but my enthusiasm for learning drives me to create my own opportunities for growth. I pool free resources, like MIT's OCW and Feynman's Lectures, to assemble and tackle the most challenging coursework I can. From multivariable calculus and differential equations to modern astrophysics and physics III, I thrive. Giddy with excitement, I delve into every lesson elated to conquer my most challenging problem sets. My passion for astrophysics burns stronger than ever. I dive into independent research, on merging compact binaries and gravitational waves. Honing skills in astrophysics, CS, and scientific research, leads to opportunities like my first NASA internship, where I finally experience a true sense of belonging, collaborating with peers and mentors as passionate about space science as I am. Researching early galaxy formation, I excel. I aspire to do more, to grow more. At last, my dreams feel as if they might come true, despite the chaos. My burgeoning spark glows brighter. Inspired, I seek out more opportunities from NASA's Hackathon, to the AAS HEAD-19 meeting, to earning certifications through NASA and GWOSC. I work hard to help afford educational books and tools. I lead community service efforts, STEM programs, and author books and blogs - all birthed from a strong commitment to inspire and empower others through their own chaos. Just as I yearn to understand the most violent, energetic phenomena in our universe, I strive to draw insight from the chaos in my own life and harness it for some good.
My road so far, pitted with adversities and inundated with uncertainty, has proved challenging, but it's also fueled my determination to unlock the purpose, potential and insight this life of chaos has been priming me for. Someday, soaring the same vast sky full of stars that first lit an ineffable spark in me, I will strive on, knowing every challenge I've overcome has helped shape this person I worked so hard to become...an explorer, a leader, an astrophysicist, an innovator, and a girl who once dreamed of flying among the stars.
Hi! I'm looking for anyone to read through my bio essay for the Questbridge NM application, and comment any suggestions on grammar, flow, topic, etc.
I was aiming to tell my story through a sort of montage sequence, but I want to make sure that I execute that idea properly.
I also struggled with the 800 word limit as there are a lot of factors that are a major part of my story/background and help to explain my situation, so let me know if some sentences are too concise or abrupt.
Thank you!!!!
QuestBridge bio essay
Prompt:
We want to know the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your successes. Please describe how the most influential factors and challenges in your life have shaped you into the person you are today . . .
It's another late night squinting through the dim light in our old blue minivan to steal another chapter or ten out of Sean Carroll's latest, before my mom wakes up and confiscates the flashlight. I love learning, and homeschooled, this is where I do a lot of it - observing cascades of sunlight or basking in book after book. This is where I grow up, lost in glossy images of cotton candy nebulae and glittering galaxy clusters illuminating the pages of books as big as I am. Immersed in the works of Stephen Hawking and Brian Greene by the time I'm five - this is where it first ignites, an inexhaustible spark at my core, set ablaze by the cataclysmic wonders of our universe. This is where I first find a sense of purpose in the chaos from which all things are birthed. I'm young, but old enough to realize other kids don't have to spend nearly as much time in the car, in hotels, or sleeping four to a pull-out in their grandparents' family room. My circumstances seem bleak sometimes, but even in the face of illnesses, assault and surgeries, I learn to persevere. Regardless of our circumstances, my mother always transforms what little we have into something magical. It's like Christmas morning every time I wake to find newly upcycled outfits, captivating intellectual challenges, or notes woven with timely words of wisdom. I gain a strong appreciation for the beauty that can be manifested from madness. I long to wake the latent potential hidden in the chaos around me.
My dad's business revived, we finally find ourselves with a home of our own. Everything has a place, including me. Birthday gifts mean once unaffordable Raspberry Pi and Arduino sets, with which I build everything from robotic arms to computers. Unfortunately, disaster strikes once more and it feels like the wind's been knocked out of me all over again. The real tears come when I find myself in a hospital room filled with the overwhelming stench of rubbing alcohol and dread. My dad's cancer has taken a rough turn and the outcome is dangerously uncertain. Every two hours I take turns pumping nutrients down his feeding tube. I help instruct my sisters' coursework. United in our struggle, my family grows closer than ever. Sometimes chaos is a powerful teacher.
My dad begins a long road to recovery, but we're starting from ground zero again. Now managing mountains of medical bills, we learn my father's most trusted employee has taken his company for everything. We lose it all, our house, my tutors, but we're the lucky ones. I empathize, more than ever, with others' suffering, and arrange outreach projects to fight hunger, cancer and inequalities.
Financial difficulties continue to bar me from opportunities like costly college classes or elite academic programs, but my enthusiasm for learning drives me to create my own opportunities for growth. I pool free resources, like MIT's OCW and Feynman's Lectures, to assemble and tackle the most challenging coursework I can. From multivariable calculus and differential equations to modern astrophysics and physics III, I thrive. Giddy with excitement, I delve into every lesson elated to conquer my most challenging problem sets. My passion for astrophysics burns stronger than ever. I dive into independent research, on merging compact binaries and gravitational waves. Honing skills in astrophysics, CS, and scientific research, leads to opportunities like my first NASA internship, where I finally experience a true sense of belonging, collaborating with peers and mentors as passionate about space science as I am. Researching early galaxy formation, I excel. I aspire to do more, to grow more. At last, my dreams feel as if they might come true, despite the chaos. My burgeoning spark glows brighter. Inspired, I seek out more opportunities from NASA's Hackathon, to the AAS HEAD-19 meeting, to earning certifications through NASA and GWOSC. I work hard to help afford educational books and tools. I lead community service efforts, STEM programs, and author books and blogs - all birthed from a strong commitment to inspire and empower others through their own chaos. Just as I yearn to understand the most violent, energetic phenomena in our universe, I strive to draw insight from the chaos in my own life and harness it for some good.
My road so far, pitted with adversities and inundated with uncertainty, has proved challenging, but it's also fueled my determination to unlock the purpose, potential and insight this life of chaos has been priming me for. Someday, soaring the same vast sky full of stars that first lit an ineffable spark in me, I will strive on, knowing every challenge I've overcome has helped shape this person I worked so hard to become...an explorer, a leader, an astrophysicist, an innovator, and a girl who once dreamed of flying among the stars.