hoangtubongdem
Sep 27, 2022
Writing Feedback / The gender distribution of Australians doing regular physical activities in 2010 [3]
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
My essay
The bar chart depicts the gender distribution of six different Australian age groups in 2010 for doing regular physical activity. Overall, it is clear that except the 15-to-24-year-olds, all the remaining groups played the same role, which is the women's figures were higher than the men's one. Not only that, three groups aged from 35 to 64 had the highest proportion.
Looking at the graph more closely, one can be seen that the percentage of males in the youngest group was higher than the female, which was 52,8 percent and 47,7 percent respectively. The middle groups aged between 35 and 64 shared the same figures of women did regular physical activity that fluctuated in 53 percent. The men were 39,5 percent, 43,1 percent and 45,1 percent proportionately aged 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64. While the 25 to 34 age group had a markedly disparate proportion, the oldest ones had equal numbers. It was 42,2 and 48,9 percent for male and female figures in the younger age group and 46,7 and 47,1 for the elderly people.
(185 words i guess ? (i use word to calculate)
Please help me review my essay. I will take the exam next November and my aim for Writing is 5.5-6.
Cambridge 12 Writing Test 1 Task 1 - Physical activities
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
My essay
The bar chart depicts the gender distribution of six different Australian age groups in 2010 for doing regular physical activity. Overall, it is clear that except the 15-to-24-year-olds, all the remaining groups played the same role, which is the women's figures were higher than the men's one. Not only that, three groups aged from 35 to 64 had the highest proportion.
Looking at the graph more closely, one can be seen that the percentage of males in the youngest group was higher than the female, which was 52,8 percent and 47,7 percent respectively. The middle groups aged between 35 and 64 shared the same figures of women did regular physical activity that fluctuated in 53 percent. The men were 39,5 percent, 43,1 percent and 45,1 percent proportionately aged 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64. While the 25 to 34 age group had a markedly disparate proportion, the oldest ones had equal numbers. It was 42,2 and 48,9 percent for male and female figures in the younger age group and 46,7 and 47,1 for the elderly people.
(185 words i guess ? (i use word to calculate)
Please help me review my essay. I will take the exam next November and my aim for Writing is 5.5-6.
