ducmatgoclyhoa
Oct 16, 2022
Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task 2] Improving the environment, should individuals leave only to big corps + govs? [NEW]
Question:
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference.
Here is my answer:
In today's world, the environment is becoming more of a problem, since if we don't take action, the very environment that is protecting us shalll be slowly exhausted, and we will have to face terrible consequences, such as out of food and water as well as several different diseases. While this problem affecs the world on a very big scale, I disagree that the problem should be left to only large corporations and governments,
What would happen if individuals stopped caring for the environment, for they believed that the giant companies and authorities will solve it for them? The results will be catastrophic, since the population that does not care about their environment can create massive pollution in many different areas, such as using cars and motorbikes that released large amounts of harmful chemicals into the air in cities or throwing their garbage down rivers and lakes, which will end up polluting the water and killing all the creatures. Handling all of these will not be simple, and will take much more time and resources than simply a day's work.
So with the aforementioned harmful effects, the average person should help improve the environment, but even though the problem seems tricky, it is surprisingly simple. One thing that everyone can do is to start using less products made of plastic and other undecomposable materials, since they damage the environment the most and is very hard to be handled properly. Another is to plant more trees since they can reduce the air pollution that is caused mainly by harmful carbon dioxide by the photosynthesis process, which replaces the harmful carbon dioxide with oxygen.
In conclusion, while I think that the corporations and governments has the resources and time to help the environment, individuals should also take part in the process to reduce the load on the former and make big changes from a lot of small changes.
What is the approximated IELTS band score of this essay, and what are its mistakes and fixes? What can I do to improve it? Thanks for your help!
Question:
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Here is my answer:
In today's world, the environment is becoming more of a problem, since if we don't take action, the very environment that is protecting us shalll be slowly exhausted, and we will have to face terrible consequences, such as out of food and water as well as several different diseases. While this problem affecs the world on a very big scale, I disagree that the problem should be left to only large corporations and governments,
What would happen if individuals stopped caring for the environment, for they believed that the giant companies and authorities will solve it for them? The results will be catastrophic, since the population that does not care about their environment can create massive pollution in many different areas, such as using cars and motorbikes that released large amounts of harmful chemicals into the air in cities or throwing their garbage down rivers and lakes, which will end up polluting the water and killing all the creatures. Handling all of these will not be simple, and will take much more time and resources than simply a day's work.
So with the aforementioned harmful effects, the average person should help improve the environment, but even though the problem seems tricky, it is surprisingly simple. One thing that everyone can do is to start using less products made of plastic and other undecomposable materials, since they damage the environment the most and is very hard to be handled properly. Another is to plant more trees since they can reduce the air pollution that is caused mainly by harmful carbon dioxide by the photosynthesis process, which replaces the harmful carbon dioxide with oxygen.
In conclusion, while I think that the corporations and governments has the resources and time to help the environment, individuals should also take part in the process to reduce the load on the former and make big changes from a lot of small changes.
What is the approximated IELTS band score of this essay, and what are its mistakes and fixes? What can I do to improve it? Thanks for your help!