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Posts by htruc2005 [Suspended]
Name: Nguyễn Thị Phương Mai
Joined: Mar 16, 2023
Last Post: Mar 24, 2023
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
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From: Viet Nam
School: NHPT NS

Displayed posts: 3
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htruc2005   
Mar 24, 2023
Writing Feedback / Help with Writing Task 2 - Essay on topic Study Abroad. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? [3]

You used some fancy words here but make sure to check their meanings, whether they make your essay sound natural enough
The opening sentence should be "An increasing number of...are", if you use "The ...number" it should be followed by "is". I think you just forgot

It's ok to repeat sometimes but once this gets the reader's attention, it will lower your score. In this essay I've noticed that you used the structure "To + V,..." more than 3 times
htruc2005   
Mar 16, 2023
Writing Feedback / Provide students with knowledge - What should be the primary goal of universities? [2]

Some individuals believe that the primary goal of universities should be to provide information and skills needed for future work. Others however feel that the main objective of universities is to give students access to knowledge for its own values regardless if the information is useful for a job or not.

What, in your opinion, should be the primary objective of university education?



My essay

These days, one might posit that universities should provide students with knowledge regardless of its usefulness to students' future jobs, while others assert that work-related information is more essential. I am of the latter school of thought as motivation coming from job-oriented knowledge is more important for college to consider.

Granted, knowledge gained in universities is still indispensable for one's life even though it is not what students will apply in their job later on. Taking science-based subjects for example, which may not directly resonate with some pupils' aspiration to become an actor but these lessons help them to improve logical thinking, making them more knowledgeable citizens. However this line of reasoning is not sound because undergraduates more often than not take these lessons lightly and get distracted if there is little relation to their future jobs. This has led to the fact that most university students are dropping out of school to work part-time and earn extra money instead of attending such classes, rendering this proposal uncompelling.

I would argue, however, universities should focus on teaching subjects useful for each group of students from the beginning. With this policy, students are not only clearly oriented towards their career but also get a number of benefits from this knowledge when working. It stands to reason that pupils well-equipped with work-related knowledge will encounter hardships beforehand and be more favorable to recruiters in comparison with those who are not. Furthermore, this is also a cost-effective option for the society since companies would no longer need investment in training courses for new employees when they have acquired sufficient expertise in the school environment.

In conclusion, my stance is that pupils should be taught about job-oriented knowledge in college rather than lessons without practical connections to their future jobs. And the outside knowledge like outer space or superstitious phenomenon if not necessary can be obtained by individual reading.

I'm going to take the IELTS test in the next 25 days, could you please help me to point out what actually prevents me from getting 7.0+ in writing?
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