Graduate / Need Reviews and comment on my SOP - Industrial Engineering [3]

Hai!!
This is Thanigai Velan.I am submitting my Statement of Purpose for Industrial Engineering and want you to review on the same before going ahead.

I want you to comment on my "Introduction" mainly.
Does I given Technical Details and relevant information?
Is it too lengthy??

Waiting for your honorable feedback..

"Engineering is the professional art of applying science to the optimum conversion of natural resources for the benefit of man."

My encounter with engineering was at the age of twelve at an Interschool competition on The Design of Rube Goldberg's machine. When I was asked to design a machine to cut a cake, my childish imagination was so spurred by it that I read my first book in engineering mechanics with the help of my physics teacher. Since then I have been constantly improving my knowledge in engineering with the main interest being in mechanical engineering. Post grade seven I started concentrating on science and mathematics, as engineering certainly cannot flourish without the two subjects. My eternal love and zeal for science begot me centum in physics in my higher secondary examination.

My confidence always grew as the calendar shrank. As an engineer I enlighten myself as an effective thinker. I consider it extremely important because every new invention actually happens at the mind level. Giving life to it needs perfect blend of subject knowledge, practical knowledge and more importantly diacritic thinking. My fixation was perfected to the synergetic blend of mechanical systems and electronic circuits governing them. While selecting my Bachelor Degree subject I opted for multi disciplinary degree comprising modeling of physical systems, analysis of behavior, and design of controllers. In short, I wanted to study a subject which should be centered on Mechanics and System Control Engineering. And that's why I chose Mechatronics Engineering. Securing myself a position in Mechatronics Engineering in the country's top ranked institute - Kumaraguru College of Technology which is one among the few institutions that offer Bachelor degree in Mechatronics Engineering - was my first accomplishment towards my professional life.

I spent a lot of time in learning the fundamentals during the first two years like Engineering Graphics, Basic Programming, Manufacturing Technology, Materials and Metallurgy and Engineering Mechanics etc. I have developed graphic skills for communicating concepts, ideas and designs of engineering products and to select materials for various engineering applications. That's the first time I started thinking about the 'role of an engineer in an industry', in my classroom and also about how the raw materials can be transformed into finished goods and what I can do as an engineer in the Industry. I raised this question to Dr Saravanan and he explained to me the obligations of an Engineer and I noticed the phrase," Industrial engineers work to eliminate wastes of time, money, materials, energy and other resources." This is what sparked my urge to pursue Industrial Engineering. This is where I can put my Mathematical, Physical and Social Sciences together with the principles and methods of engineering analysis and design.

Unfortunately in the third semester I was not able to clear my mathematics paper because I was infested with a viral fever (CHIKV) with two days to spare for my mathematics exam. I tried my level best by appearing for the exam but I was not able to get through. Luckily I had a gap of three and a half days for the next exam and I got through that. My thought patterns reached new heights when I cleared my arrear in the next semester and at the same time carried out a project on energy savers in Salzer Electronics public limited company. The project destines to save the output energy of the street lamps effectively as much as 34%. I was busy learning there the effective human resource management.

I wonder why men cannot win over the man-created machines! The inspiration for Industrial Engineering made me to think about doing a Summer Internship Training in a world renowned industry. I first did my implant training at BMW motor India limited at Chennai. This is where my eyes were beginning to descry the realistic applications of theories that I have learnt so far.

In the last year of my bachelor's degree, I was involved in two projects as part of my course. My first project was about a Programming Logic Controller. The project named "Automatic Cutting Machine" & the machine could be employed in various industries for chopping materials in a large scale using Pneumatic energy as an input, controlled by a PLC. When working on this project I used my problem solving skills and leadership skills effectively.

I wanted to do my final project in an industry where I could learn more about Quantitative Management and Project Planning and implement the technology I had learnt in my curriculum. Hyundai Motor India Ltd offered various projects for final year engineering students. We were among less than 1% of the engineering students in the state who were selected for projects there. We started thinking as Industrial Technologists with the onset of my project and endeavored to reduce the maintenance time of the robots which were powered by Hydraulic Cylinders. After various studies in the department of Maintenance, we arrived at the opinion that leakage in cylinders resulted in major break down time. So we designed a system with PLC to test the cylinders and the hydraulic system to make sure it works without any fault.

Having completed my degree in engineering and after working on a number of engineering projects, I have decided that I want to be an Industrial Engineer. However, I also know that Industrial Engineering, a complexity that appeals to me requires me to have more tools in my toolbox. These I can acquire only by continuing my education. To be competent and competitive I will need a Master's degree, after which, I plan to continue my career in the field of operational research.

Needless to say, the main purpose of me seeking education at ____ University is to acquire the skills necessary to launch myself into a career in Industrial Engineering. I hope I have been able to demonstrate that this is a field I can excel in. ____ University is famed for the most prominent and creative people in the field. I am certain that contact with the brilliant people in your faculty will be the most valuable part of my education.

In all earnestness, I regard myself being admitted to ______ university not only as a great honor, but also as a privilege with due responsibilities. I will work hard to uphold and further the reputation of such fine a university. As to whether I shall have this honor is your decision, but if I do, I will spare no pains to justify it.