Haiha0205
Sep 23, 2024
Undergraduate / Perfectly Imperfect - personal statement | International Relations [4]
Merged:
Personal Essay
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
Constantly worrying about others' opinions casts a shadow on my mood. I had a tiring day filled with thoughts, but it doesn't seem as bad as I initially perceived it through others' perspectives.
A night like any other, these thoughts often distract me from studying and leave me feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imagined scenarios that never took place.
How did this mess begin again?
As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the term "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. This term refers to the numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child," which create a benchmark against which are often compared. For reasons not entirely understood, these expectations remain ingrained in the minds of parents and students when evaluating individual success.
As I grew up, I constantly sought to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness. Neither my family nor my friends could provide a definitive answer. Eventually, I discovered my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.
Failing to meet others' expectations drove me to seek validation from family and friends. This mindset persisted until I didn't gain admission to my dream class. It was only when my teacher-who had supported me for seven years-said, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence, without relying on luck like others." She continued, "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences you may not have noticed before. Success may await you there." It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.
I realized that it didn't matter who I was; I was not good enough by those standards, and my abilities were not as remarkable as others. However, looking up, I found that I was no one's equal; looking down, no one was my equal either. I wanted to help everyone who felt they did not fit the mold reclaim their core values.
I came to understand that a person's worth is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader gave me a deep understanding of the pressures people face. I believe that a club provides an environment where individuals can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I have always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.
The impact I have made, and continue to make, may not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I am dedicated to sharing my experiences to inspire change in others' mindsets and to eliminate toxicity. Though transformation is gradual, I am committed to making gradual changes that will resonate with others and ultimately change the persistent yet harmful standards of perfection.
Merged:
Personal Essay / International Relations / PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
Personal Essay
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
Constantly worrying about others' opinions casts a shadow on my mood. I had a tiring day filled with thoughts, but it doesn't seem as bad as I initially perceived it through others' perspectives.
A night like any other, these thoughts often distract me from studying and leave me feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, I dwelled on past interactions and comments regardless of wasting valuable time. Thinking about meaningless things makes it difficult for me to concentrate on my tasks, and sometimes I find myself crying over imagined scenarios that never took place.
How did this mess begin again?
As a child, I was a determined girl striving to meet others' expectations. In Vietnam, the term "next-door kid" has become a societal standard. This term refers to the numerous impressive academic achievements attained by the "next-door child," which create a benchmark against which are often compared. For reasons not entirely understood, these expectations remain ingrained in the minds of parents and students when evaluating individual success.
As I grew up, I constantly sought to be the best version of myself out of fear of being judged. I often questioned whether achieving this ideal would truly bring me happiness. Neither my family nor my friends could provide a definitive answer. Eventually, I discovered my own answer, but I became overly sensitive to negative comments about myself, leading me to believe that I was not good enough.
Failing to meet others' expectations drove me to seek validation from family and friends. This mindset persisted until I didn't gain admission to my dream class. It was only when my teacher-who had supported me for seven years-said, "You don't need to worry about disappointing or being laughed at by others. You just need to be the best version of yourself. You've put in your best effort using your skills and intelligence, without relying on luck like others." She continued, "Failing to achieve something you desire may mean that better opportunities are on the way. A new environment can shield you from toxic influences you may not have noticed before. Success may await you there." It was then that I realized how these societal standards dehumanized and objectified not only myself but also other teenagers.
I realized that it didn't matter who I was; I was not good enough by those standards, and my abilities were not as remarkable as others. However, looking up, I found that I was no one's equal; looking down, no one was my equal either. I wanted to help everyone who felt they did not fit the mold reclaim their core values.
I came to understand that a person's worth is not determined by their achievements. I joined the Quang Trung Media Club at my high school and quickly advanced to become a leader of the MC team. Transitioning from a member to a leader gave me a deep understanding of the pressures people face. I believe that a club provides an environment where individuals can showcase their abilities and learn from each other. Despite occasional anxiety before hosting a program, I have always maintained the belief that everyone can improve in their own way.
The impact I have made, and continue to make, may not be enough to heal the wounds inflicted by oppressive standards. Yet, I am dedicated to sharing my experiences to inspire change in others' mindsets and to eliminate toxicity. Though transformation is gradual, I am committed to making gradual changes that will resonate with others and ultimately change the persistent yet harmful standards of perfection.
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