Writing Feedback / Pharmacy chose me - Graduate Statement of Purpose [3]

The prompt

What are your professional plans and career goals? How will pursuing graduate studies assist you in reaching those goals?
Describe your research, scholarly, or creative interests. What topics are of particular interest to you? Reviewers know that interests change over time but try to be as specific as possible.

Discuss how your experiences, skills, and abilities have prepared you for graduate study. Relevant topics may include coursework, work and research experiences, internships, presentations, exhibits, publications, and community service. If you describe a research or scholarly experience, include information on the topic, research mentor, your role, and outcomes.

Describe how your skills, preparation, and interests are a match for the program to which you are applying. Identify faculty who share your research and scholarly interests. Reviewers will want to know that you have researched the program, faculty, and key focus areas.

"The reframe for the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is "Who or what do you want to grow into?". Indeed, if it had been mooted to me that I would end up as a pharmacist during my formative years, it would not have made any sense. However, I can recall constantly questioning my mother, "How does taking paracetamol into the stomach stop aches in the head? How does the drug move upward to the head? Of course, I got no response, as she was just an economics teacher and had little to no idea how drugs affect the body. However, I believe this question my young self asked years ago led Pharmacy to choose me. Yes, I believe Pharmacy chose me.

The 'My Pikin' teething mixture incident of 2008 is one that every pharmacy school student in Nigeria must have heard countless times. It was a disaster involving the use of the wrong compounding ingredients, leading to the deaths of over 80 children in mostly low-income homes. It was not the first time such an incident happened in the country, as there was one in 1990 involving the same ingredients (ethylene glycol being used instead of propylene glycol) that led to the deaths of 109 children. As someone who comes from a low-income family, I cannot overemphasize the importance of affordable and safe medicines. My mother, who barely made enough to support her children, had to rely on cost-effective medicines from the local pharmacy store for our healthcare needs. These unfortunate events left me feeling a sense of duty, and this was where my interest in health outcomes, medication safety, and drug discovery was born. With knowledge acquired in this field and collaboration with regulatory agencies, the goal is to ensure safe, effective, and affordable medicines for low- to middle-income families in my home country.

This passion for health outcomes, medication safety, and translational science led to my undergraduate project, where I investigated the antimicrobial effects of the root bark extracts of Plant XYZ, a plant that locals in southern Nigeria use to treat various illnesses. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that up to 80% of the Nigerian population uses alternative medicine to meet their health needs due to its acceptability, accessibility, and affordability. However, despite their wide acceptability, there is not enough empirical evidence to confirm the effectiveness of these remedies. My role in this undergraduate research, under the guidance of my supervisor, Dr. X., involved laboratory assays of the various extracted chemical fractions, result analysis, and interpretation. The results revealed that the plant possesses antimicrobial activity, but when compared to a standard, it was relatively low despite being assayed at a higher concentration. This further supports the report published by the WHO about the lack of empirical evidence for the use of alternative medicines, showcasing the need for more work on medication safety. The research result also highlights the need for further work on medication affordability and availability because, despite the cultural inclinations of most locals towards alternative medicine, a key contributing factor is their inability to afford effective orthodox medicine due to constrained financial resources. In the same vein as seeing improved health outcomes, my current job as a community pharmacist offers me the perfect opportunity to do just that; contribute positively to my patients' lives to improve health outcomes. One case from recent memory comes to mind. A prescription for cabergoline came in asking for the total maximum weekly dosage to be taken daily, consecutively, for four weeks. Seeing this, my alarm bells rang, and I swiftly resolved the issue through communication with the patient and prescriber. This made me gain more trust from my patient and left me feeling fulfilled that I was able to prevent medication overdose, achieve medication safety, and, in the long run, bring about an improved health outcome in the life of that patient.

Having received undergraduate training in pharmacology, pharmaceutics, microbiology, chemistry, and therapeutics and gaining work experience in retail and clinical pharmacy, pursuing a Masters degree in Health Services, Outcomes, and Policy in Indiana feels like the right next step. And why not? As a lover of fast cars, seeing the Indy 500 live will be a thrilling experience. X University possesses a rich cultural history, spanning over a hundred and twenty-six nations, an impeccable academic pedigree, and impressive graduate funding. Furthermore, the College of Pharmacy, one of the oldest in the United States, boasts highly qualified faculty members and has a penchant for producing highly sought-after alumni who have shown great value in their various career endeavors. My previous research experience provided me with valuable skills in critical thinking, collaborative work, and result interpretation, giving me a strong base to undertake graduate school research at X in areas covering drug safety, drug effectiveness, and investigation into new drug compounds. I am also confident that learning under faculty members who have similar interests in areas of health outcomes, such as Dr. Y, who through HER labs is bridging the health inequity gaps in disproportionate communities; drug discovery, such as Dr. Z, who has expertise in drug discovery process phases; and pharmacovigilance, such as Dr. A, who through pharmacovigilance has improved health outcomes in PLHIV in Kenya, will equip me with the knowledge to solve mankind's drug-related problems and, in the process, propel me toward achieving my personal and academic goals.

I now have the answer as to why taking paracetamol in the stomach stops aches in the head but again, I am left with questions on health improvement. Getting admitted to X will provide these answers and I earnestly hope I am given the opportunity to seek out these answers.

I was rejected by this school without a specific reason. I am just looking for feedback regarding my essay and to know where I can improve.

Thanks