hungnothung
Sep 6, 2024
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: topic: the reasons for crime [2]
Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My task:
While some individuals assert that living environments are the primary culprit for the crime, others hold the belief that a crime is caused by an innate bad personality. I, however, would contend a crime can be explained by poor living conditions rather than a person's nature.
On the one hand, the argument about a person's inborn characteristic being to blame for committing a crime is not completely baseless. Many researches have been conducted to survey people who engaged in illicit activities and found out that most of their parents are criminal as well, proving that offspring tends to inherit their parents' traits. Nevertheless, no biological research could give solid evidence that inherent qualities of a person cause criminal behavior.
On the other hand, a poor quality of life is synonymous with illegal activities due to the importance of outer impact on a person's growth. Social problems such as lack of security can lead to the government's inability to control the crime rate, or poverty also promotes criminal acts. Additionally, uncontrolled contents of televised programs or films may be seen as the rationale behind juvenile delinquency owing to the impressionable youth's incapacity to distinguish the illegality, resulting in further offences in their attempts to imitate acts on television. Moreover, this also clarifies the reason for children imitating their parents' unlawful activities at their young age, explaining that innate personality does not breed illegality.
In conclusion, although many say that a bad person's inborn features trigger their criminal behavior, I would argue that crimes can be attributed to poor living conditions and how people are brought up.
(please let me know the estimated bandscore i could possibly get with this essay, thanks in advance. Btw, its my first post, so you may let know if i did something unsuitable in this forum)
Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My task:
While some individuals assert that living environments are the primary culprit for the crime, others hold the belief that a crime is caused by an innate bad personality. I, however, would contend a crime can be explained by poor living conditions rather than a person's nature.
On the one hand, the argument about a person's inborn characteristic being to blame for committing a crime is not completely baseless. Many researches have been conducted to survey people who engaged in illicit activities and found out that most of their parents are criminal as well, proving that offspring tends to inherit their parents' traits. Nevertheless, no biological research could give solid evidence that inherent qualities of a person cause criminal behavior.
On the other hand, a poor quality of life is synonymous with illegal activities due to the importance of outer impact on a person's growth. Social problems such as lack of security can lead to the government's inability to control the crime rate, or poverty also promotes criminal acts. Additionally, uncontrolled contents of televised programs or films may be seen as the rationale behind juvenile delinquency owing to the impressionable youth's incapacity to distinguish the illegality, resulting in further offences in their attempts to imitate acts on television. Moreover, this also clarifies the reason for children imitating their parents' unlawful activities at their young age, explaining that innate personality does not breed illegality.
In conclusion, although many say that a bad person's inborn features trigger their criminal behavior, I would argue that crimes can be attributed to poor living conditions and how people are brought up.
(please let me know the estimated bandscore i could possibly get with this essay, thanks in advance. Btw, its my first post, so you may let know if i did something unsuitable in this forum)
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