sugarcookie
1 day ago
Undergraduate / Hardworking, motivated and caring - University of BC Personal Profile [3]
Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting off with "hardworking, motivated, and caring" is pretty basic/generic. So it might be more beneficial to tell a specific story that shows these qualities you have. You could start off with an example from IT Club or your journey to get good grades. Secondly, the part about your academic accomplishments is good, but you should focus more on how it connects to who you are. Like why are those grades important to you? Adding this kind of context can make it more meaningful. Also, talk more about details regarding IT club, instead of talking about general arguments and and teamwork be more specific on a certain problem and how you contributed to solving it. And lastly, for the ending it seems a little rushed so talk more about why comp sci excites you and how your experiences have made you ready for UBC. Good luck!
Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting off with "hardworking, motivated, and caring" is pretty basic/generic. So it might be more beneficial to tell a specific story that shows these qualities you have. You could start off with an example from IT Club or your journey to get good grades. Secondly, the part about your academic accomplishments is good, but you should focus more on how it connects to who you are. Like why are those grades important to you? Adding this kind of context can make it more meaningful. Also, talk more about details regarding IT club, instead of talking about general arguments and and teamwork be more specific on a certain problem and how you contributed to solving it. And lastly, for the ending it seems a little rushed so talk more about why comp sci excites you and how your experiences have made you ready for UBC. Good luck!