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Posts by g60nx
Joined: Nov 25, 2009
Last Post: Nov 27, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

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g60nx   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "Son, your education is your future." - UC prompt [5]

Once again
Do you think I should add something more?
or Did I approach the prompt correctly?

How can I improve my essay because the wording is very simple as you can see.

Thank you for your comment
Please comment and suggest for improvement.

Please feel free to criticize or give your essay link.
g60nx   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "Son, your education is your future." - UC prompt [5]

Thank you
Thank you
Brunoboral and EF_Kevin
my wssay looks way better with your help

umm..
Do you think I should add something more?
or Did I approach the prompt correctly?

And how can I improve my essay because the wording is very simple as you can see.
g60nx   
Nov 25, 2009
Undergraduate / "Son, your education is your future." - UC prompt [5]

Hi
I'm learning English so expect a lot of
confusing and grammatical errors

so please help!!

comments and editing will be greatly appreciated..Thank you in advance.

Prompt 1- Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Word Count: 426

My father once said, "Son, your education is your future." From that point on I always dream to have a highest education degree I possibly can and I know by my heart that once I am there I will understand this complicated world better. I dedicate myself to do my best in school and learn from both inside of classroom and real life situations. I came from a poor family and this allowed me to appreciate things in front of me and not take things for granted. This made me become very independent and forced me to set high standards and accomplish them.

But in Thailand, the place where I was born and grew up, it requires more than working hard to be successful. It requires more than studying hard to attend a university. My parents did not have an education like they wish to have because they were poor and it is very hard to go to school when you are poor in Thailand. This step has repeated again and again from a generation to another. To stop that from happen to their children, my parents have made a big decision to migrate to United States to give their children the best chance to be success in their lives.

They say, "You will always have your freedom to be who you wanted to be in America". Since August 2006, the first time I step on the soil of America as a 14 years old kid, so far that phrase has never failed. Everyone has the same equal opportunity in America. I am thankful to this country. This place has inspired my dream.

Coming to America is like a new life, not just for me but many other people in my family. As a first generation to be going to college, everyone in my family and all of my relatives back in Thailand are glad and bless me because I am going to attend a university in America. I am achieving the forbidden dream of my older relatives because they can't even go to a university in Thailand. It is not because they were not smart but they can't afford to pay for college. All they ask for is a chance. An ability to choose to be who they desired to be not who they are forced to be.

I realized that going to be attending a university means a lot not just for myself but to everybody around me. I am carrying my dream and their dreams on my back. Instead of feeling pressure, I am grateful to do something for someone I care. I am breaking the cycle. I am their hope just like university is my hope and my future.