Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by eagle123
Joined: Nov 25, 2009
Last Post: Nov 28, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: Nepal

Displayed posts: 3
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
eagle123   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Snake without poison' - Engineering option essay [4]

Thank You so much for the feedback..I have taken all of them and have tried to make it better..and I took some time and revised the essay to make it a little longer so that I could use it as my personal essay.

I wanted to show how with my grandparents bedtime stories helped me turn my childhood hobby into a dream career..Please do not hesitate to fix any errors that you come across. I am more than thankful for all your help
eagle123   
Nov 26, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Snake without poison' - Engineering option essay [4]

Definitely Engineering...

Besides their daily routine my grandparents never failed to remind me, "A Person without Aim is like a snake without poison". It felt like they had incorporated the reminder in their everyday schedule. My grandmother's bedtime stories somehow always revolved round the importance of aspiration in a person's life. With a strong reference to how significantly goals and ambition were co-related; she emphasized much more on how those dreams were directly proportional to success. Reflecting on all those years of wisdom, I have come to realize the influence that that particular moral had in the choice of my dream career. Since my childhood, I have always aspired in learning how the wonderful world of electronics comes into being.

Whenever my parents bought me a new toy, I always had a screwdriver with me. Most of the times I ended up opening the knots and bolts just to find out what that toy was made of and what brought it into motion. The secret revelation whereby the small plastic parts, metal pieces, wires were coiled together with a small but a mighty and a magnificent 7thcentury BC creation, the screw never once failed to intrigue me. I often wondered how long it might have taken for the inventor to come up with the idea that now looked so simple. The screws, the cell, the colorful wires well hidden under the powerful sheath structure made me think of my mother whom I thought of as the home engineer of my big shelter, I like to call home. The machine parts that were used were more or less always the same, but I always fascinated and lost examining those parts for hours. Well, never being able to put it back together often times got me into trouble but that never stopped me. The miraculous combination was all it took to mesmerize a curios little engineer like me; I wished to know more, see more and learn much more. However, I think finding answers to my curious questions was worth all the punishments I went through; I would say I learned the hard way. My childhood habit of dismantling small toys soon developed into dismantling bigger gadgets such as the DVDs, VCDs, and radios. The only difference was I could now put things back together, in other words engineer the already engineered gadgets. Lifetime of taking pieces apart actually familiarized me with the location and the importance of most of those small electronic marvels. I soon turned into a home mechanic and could successfully repair minor breakdowns. Fixing a gadget malfunction was an ecstasy.

With the evergreen 'grandparent reminder,' I think this childhood hobby of mine had a huge influence upon my career decision as an Engineer. I wish to come up with a creation that little future engineers like myself, could ponder upon and more importantly learn from. The creative creations of moving toys still fascinates me and though a little too big for the toy section, never fail to double check if a new invention has come about.

I need to shorten my essay somehow but have no idea what factors are irrelevant??
eagle123   
Nov 26, 2009
Undergraduate / common app short answer - getting over fear of talking on phones [17]

The idea and the way you learned sounds and looks really good. If you could possible elaborate more on how that particular experience shaped your personality and developed your confidence...the essay would be flawless..
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳