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Posts by Alicelxh
Joined: Nov 26, 2009
Last Post: Nov 26, 2009
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Alicelxh   
Nov 26, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Snake without poison' - Engineering option essay [4]

Your realisation about the importance of aspiration is pretty long and irrelevant to the subject of engineering. I would suggest you eliminate or shorten the grandparent story and build on the last sentence of the first paragraph. The transition to the third paragraph is quite rough. You jump from toys to gadgets and make reference to childhood hobby (probably on dismantling toys) in the end. This makes the reader confused. Do provide the prompt so that your question can be better addressed.

I ended up opening the knots and bolts just to know how that stuff was made and what went into making it.

So what did you see? It will be better if you can elaborate and link this to your curiosity.

structure of an electronic item

Are you referring to a particular electronic gadget or electronic items?
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