Writing Feedback / English CLEP Practice Essay - Friendships today are easier than ever to form [3]

Make sure that your first paragraph is at least four sentences longer. Maybe make a connection between what used to be considered friendship for you (hanging out with friends) to what is considered friendship now (texting) This explores the changes in a short succinct paragraph. The other three paragraphs are excellent! I have done essay's for CLEP before and I believe the last three paragraphs will pass the grade.

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Undergraduate / Experience, achievement - essay about losing weight- feedback [5]

The first five sentences are awesome. They draw a person into the essay and helps to keep them guessing. However, it is important to personalize it more from an emotional standpoint. What did you feel when you could not keep up with everyone on the basketball team? How did this effect your friendships? How did it affect your relationships with the opposite sex?

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