Undergraduate / Common Application Essay (Anti-Semitism) [3]

The topic I chose: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

This is what I have so far:

Throughout the course of my life I have come across many ethical dilemmas
that have affected who I am today, not just as a person, but also as a Jew. Judaism has
had a positive influence in my life. It's steeped in rich tradition, customs, and values.
Judaism is a part of who I am spiritually, helps me to understand where I belong
physically, and identifies what I believe emotionally. Judaism is more than a religion; it is
a way of life and I am always proud to proclaim who I am. Being Jewish, I know there
are many people who are anti-Semitic. Although I have had many ethical dilemmas, there
is one that I will never forget; one that has especially affected me.

I have been taught to ignore those who are rude and ignorant towards my religion,
however it has not always been easy. I was first affected by displays of anti-Semitism
early into my eighth grade year. It appalled me the way others my age acted toward my
religion. The Star of David worn around my neck was a target for bullying. I was not
scared to wear the Star of David, given to me by my grandfather, for I had worn it my
whole life. There was a boy in my physical education class who gave me problems about
my religion more than anyone else. Although he was in the same grade as I, he appeared
much older. He stood several inches taller than I with a medium build. I, being much
shorter and thinner than he, was intimidated by his stature. I could see the evil in his eyes
and knew he was someone who was up to no good.

The first day that he approached me, I was in the locker room washing my hands
after an outdoor basketball game in P.E. I heard him whisper under his breath, "You
dirty Jew." I did not know what to make of his comment. At first I was in disbelief. I
turned to him and said, "What?" He replied, "You heard me," and elbowed me rather
forcefully. It took my brain a moment to comprehend what this malicious 13 year old
had done. When I realized what his intentions were, a rage fell over me. My first thought
was to challenge him. Even though he was bigger and stronger than I, anger consumed
me and I knew I could hold my own. I was no longer scared of the ignorance that stood
before me. I was ready to fight for what I believed in, but I realized that I would be
stooping to his level. After I had contemplated the ethics of fighting him, I came to the
conclusion that I should ignore him. Doing so, I stayed true to my morals.

I am not a person who wants to be perceived as hateful or ignorant. I was brought
up not to judge anyone due to their race, religion, or views on life. Although that boy's
ignorance and naivety caused me distress, I refused to be the victim and to watch my
dignity crumble at his hands. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, and as a
practical human being, I would never expect everyone to agree with me. Even though that
boy's words were harmful and greatly affected me, it has made me a better person in that
I know where my loyalties lie. Ultimately, people like him can never be avoided.
Therefore, tolerance, to me, is essential in living a moral life.

I really need some suggestions!
Please let me know what you think..Be critical!

Undergraduate / Of all the activities, in our outside of school, soccer holds the most meaning to me [2]

This is what I have so far:

Of all the activities, in our outside of school, soccer holds the most meaning to me. I have been playing soccer since the age of six and most certainly love it. I have played on many successful and rewarding soccer clubs, and have competed for four years of exciting and vigorous varsity soccer. I have attended several prestigious soccer academies during both summer and my school year. The reason why soccer is so meaningful to me is because it makes me feel good while i am playing and i seem to forget about the pressures of everyday life, whether it be homework or an important essay. To me, soccer is a metaphor of life. It represents life the way most of the world sees it, achievement being due to hard work, but impacted by uncertainties. Soccer has helped me grow as a person and I hope to continue playing throughout my college experience, not only to make it more meaningful, but because if fulfills me as a person.

Please tell me what you think..Be critical!

Thanks