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Posts by r3kyum
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r3kyum   
Dec 12, 2009
Undergraduate / "I had a crush on Jennifer" - Essay Prompt [8]

Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

I had a crush. Her name was Jennifer and in my opinion, she was very beautiful and I was quite nervous to approach her. Like most people, my first instinct was to rely on my friends to "hook me up". However the outcome of my reliance on friends was devastating. When she asked me of my appearance and personality, my "friends" told her I was short, fat, and could never be taken seriously. This event greatly affected the confidence I had in myself. I think it is agreeable that many boys my age would want to seem manly. However, being described to others as weak and quite approachable made me very insecure and opposite of the manly image I sought. I wanted to change.

My first approach to change was losing weight. I started hitting up the gym, running every day, and changing my diet. Before the new quarter of running start courses started, I lost twenty pounds. I still felt that I had a long ways to go before I would be confident with myself. However, one change that I could not make was the way I socialized with others. I couldn't help but continue to joke and be sarcastic. I was still afraid to talk to strangers and often felt embarrassed to express my opinions openly. The change I wanted to make would require me to act tough and serious in front of others. In other words the changed I wanted to make would cause me to be "fake". That was not a change I wanted to make.

After much effort, I was finally able to date the girl that I thought I had no chance with. She showed me that it was okay to be myself and I was happy to find that she appreciated my personality and character more than I did. She helped me realize that forcefully changing myself, was not the answer to my confidence and happiness. She disregarded what my friends had to say about me and respected me for who I was. She also taught me what it meant to truly care about someone and to not be selfish by thinking about just myself.

Others may not get much out of a relationship than having fun and going on dates. But I feel relationships are indeed beneficial to maturing and understanding yourself. Dating her boosted my confidence and helped me appreciate myself. It was a nice feeling to have friends compliment me for being able to date her and apologizing for saying rude things about me. I also find myself being less afraid to confront others for the first time. Before I dated my crush I would always be embarrassed to talk to strangers, but now I'm the one who sticks my hand out to shake other peoples' hands.

Dating Jennifer, I learned a valuable lesson. Being happy with yourself does not come in a result of forcefully changing yourself and how others view you. Truly changing how you view yourself and how others view you in the manner you'll appreciate, comes in result of being happy with who you are. I'm a much happier person now than I was before I dated Jennifer. Better yet, I'm still dating her.

Roy Kim
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