lexi716
Dec 17, 2009
Undergraduate / The inspiration of my mother- Common App personal essay [5]
This is a very rough draft, I'm not very good with grammatical mistakes, so if you could give me some tips that would be great :) its also kind of long- I'm at 700 words. I don't know if that's too much, they ask for a minimum of 250 words- but I don't want to bore them to death with excess information, so if you see anything that i missed that's repetitive or kind of useless/out of place, i would appreciate any suggestions or criticism. Thank you!
"Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."
I closely listened to the rain pound against the glass as a sudden clap of thunder nearly made me fall out of my bed in terror. Without a second thought I grabbed my pillow as I stumbled across the darkness of my room towards my mother's bed. "Mommy, can I come in bed with you?" I whispered to her. She stretched out her arms and pulled me in close to her. Suddenly, in my seven-year-old mind, I was no longer afraid.
Growing up, I now know how difficult life was for my mother. For a long time, it was just she and I living alone in our tiny little apartment. We didn't have a luxurious life, and some nights it was a struggle to simply get dinner on the table. But as hard as it was, she never failed to give me everything I needed. For my own sake she never let the troubles we had show, she put a smile on her face and would not let her hardships have any affect on me. She was so strong, and not once did she complain about how stressful it was to be a single mother. This is a quality I am proud to say I have gained from her. I am a strong person, and it is all because of her. Without her loving voice guiding me through life, telling me "I can" whenever I said "I can not," I would not have the confidence that I have today to achieve anything that I set my mind to. She has showed me that nothing is impossible- and that even though sometimes it may seem like there is no hope, you can overcome it. She always used to say to me, that there will be times where you feel like you "hit the wall." You will feel like you cannot continue, and you will think there is no possible solution to the problem at hand, but it is important that you do not give up. No matter what it is you do to break through the "wall"- try a different approach, take a break from the dilemma and come back to it later with a fresh perspective- you have to persevere. And when I did hit my own metaphorical "wall," she was there to continue to believe in me. Without her there to inspire me, I would not have the strength and perseverance that I have today.
Having to raise a child on her own, my mother was very independent. She did not have many people to depend on, so she learned to become reliant on herself. Her profound independence has rubbed off on me and helped me find my own independence. She gave me just enough separation from her so that I still had her complete support, but I also was free to have my own experiences, free to make my own mistakes and learn from them by myself. It gave me just enough independence so that I am now comfortable and confident with the idea of going out into the real world on my own next year.
As I lay awake in bed and listen to the rumbling thunder, and the downpour against my window, I am reminded of the past. I know that I have nothing to fear any longer; the support of my mother has eased me not only through this simple situation, but through many others as well. The numbers of ways in which she has inspired me, changed me, and has molded my personality are countless. I am lucky to have such an inspirational person in my life, someone who is so selfless, so compassionate, and who supports me no matter what the circumstance. She given me the confidence that I need to move forward in my life. Thanks to her, I know that if I persevere and never give up on myself, I am capable of succeeding in college, as well as later on in life. It is this kind of inspiration that my mother gives me that I look up to her for- I hope that I may one day be as inspirational to another as she has been to me.
This is a very rough draft, I'm not very good with grammatical mistakes, so if you could give me some tips that would be great :) its also kind of long- I'm at 700 words. I don't know if that's too much, they ask for a minimum of 250 words- but I don't want to bore them to death with excess information, so if you see anything that i missed that's repetitive or kind of useless/out of place, i would appreciate any suggestions or criticism. Thank you!
"Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."
I closely listened to the rain pound against the glass as a sudden clap of thunder nearly made me fall out of my bed in terror. Without a second thought I grabbed my pillow as I stumbled across the darkness of my room towards my mother's bed. "Mommy, can I come in bed with you?" I whispered to her. She stretched out her arms and pulled me in close to her. Suddenly, in my seven-year-old mind, I was no longer afraid.
Growing up, I now know how difficult life was for my mother. For a long time, it was just she and I living alone in our tiny little apartment. We didn't have a luxurious life, and some nights it was a struggle to simply get dinner on the table. But as hard as it was, she never failed to give me everything I needed. For my own sake she never let the troubles we had show, she put a smile on her face and would not let her hardships have any affect on me. She was so strong, and not once did she complain about how stressful it was to be a single mother. This is a quality I am proud to say I have gained from her. I am a strong person, and it is all because of her. Without her loving voice guiding me through life, telling me "I can" whenever I said "I can not," I would not have the confidence that I have today to achieve anything that I set my mind to. She has showed me that nothing is impossible- and that even though sometimes it may seem like there is no hope, you can overcome it. She always used to say to me, that there will be times where you feel like you "hit the wall." You will feel like you cannot continue, and you will think there is no possible solution to the problem at hand, but it is important that you do not give up. No matter what it is you do to break through the "wall"- try a different approach, take a break from the dilemma and come back to it later with a fresh perspective- you have to persevere. And when I did hit my own metaphorical "wall," she was there to continue to believe in me. Without her there to inspire me, I would not have the strength and perseverance that I have today.
Having to raise a child on her own, my mother was very independent. She did not have many people to depend on, so she learned to become reliant on herself. Her profound independence has rubbed off on me and helped me find my own independence. She gave me just enough separation from her so that I still had her complete support, but I also was free to have my own experiences, free to make my own mistakes and learn from them by myself. It gave me just enough independence so that I am now comfortable and confident with the idea of going out into the real world on my own next year.
As I lay awake in bed and listen to the rumbling thunder, and the downpour against my window, I am reminded of the past. I know that I have nothing to fear any longer; the support of my mother has eased me not only through this simple situation, but through many others as well. The numbers of ways in which she has inspired me, changed me, and has molded my personality are countless. I am lucky to have such an inspirational person in my life, someone who is so selfless, so compassionate, and who supports me no matter what the circumstance. She given me the confidence that I need to move forward in my life. Thanks to her, I know that if I persevere and never give up on myself, I am capable of succeeding in college, as well as later on in life. It is this kind of inspiration that my mother gives me that I look up to her for- I hope that I may one day be as inspirational to another as she has been to me.
