pianofreakerz
Jan 30, 2008
pianofreakerz
Jan 30, 2008
Undergraduate / My grandma & my journey as a pianist; Important person [3]
for UT:
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
"Why are the sixteenth notes still so uneven? Play them again," my grandma scolded me with a dissatisfied frown. Whenever she frowned, they always meant the same thing: "I know you can play better than this, just concentrate and try harder! If you want to become good, you have to work for it." It was easier said than done, because as a 5-year-old girl, everything sounded more thrilling than sitting on a cold hard piano seat monotonously moving my fingers from white to black, and to white keys again.
My grandmother was a woman of a small stature and few words. Despite her size, she spoke decisively, articulating every syllable, and had strong opinions she held until the end. Our adventures would begin when my parents went to work and would drop me off at grandma's fourth floor apartment where I would do homework and learn piano. Before long, she became the best friend who told me my favorite fairytales before I went to sleep and who let me climb the monkey bars one last time even when my hands were caked with dirt.
Although I genuinely loved visiting grandma's house, I unfortunately began to dislike her piano lessons; the material got harder each week, thus forcing me to spend more and more time every day perfecting a song. Sensing disinterest during my lessons when I would leave with a yawn instead of a smile, my grandma thought quickly to revive my love for music. The following week, instead of the usual lesson, she drove me to New York City, saying she had a surprise for me. Before I knew it, we were standing outside Carnegie Hall, an astounding performance center for accomplished musicians around the world. It turned out that her friend's 17-year-old granddaughter was having a performance this afternoon in one of the smaller rooms inside this building. My grandmother brought me here, hoping the young girl's musicianship would inspire me to continue my passion for piano and reach for new heights. To this day, I am thankful for that trip. Ever since that day, I have felt my love for music renewed repeatedly only to find it stronger each time. When lessons become tedious and songs are more challenging than I had expected, my grandmother would always be there, continuously pushing me forward and reminding me of our trip to Carnegie Hall.
The beginning years of a pianist's journey are always the hardest; however, those who defeat this obstacle earn mastery of such a magnificent instrument. I have one individual to thank for this. She encouraged me to continue practicing piano even when it was getting difficult, promising me that if I did, I will one day be able to play beautiful melodies like the girl in Carnegie Hall. Most importantly, it was from her invaluable life lesson I learned that persistence and hard work are the first steps for making my dreams realities. Grandma, I thank you.
Please specifically look at my grammar (like commas and tenses and stuff).
Especially:
-It was easier said than done, because as a 5-year-old girl, everything sounded more thrilling than sitting on a cold hard piano seat monotonously moving my fingers from white to black, and to white keys again.
-Despite her size, she spoke decisively, articulating every syllable, and had strong opinions she held until the end.
-Grandma, I thank you. (is this weird? should i end with something else that says it was my grandma?)
I'm not sure which tense I should use and if I used the correct ones throughout my essay!. Thanks so much :D
for UT:
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
"Why are the sixteenth notes still so uneven? Play them again," my grandma scolded me with a dissatisfied frown. Whenever she frowned, they always meant the same thing: "I know you can play better than this, just concentrate and try harder! If you want to become good, you have to work for it." It was easier said than done, because as a 5-year-old girl, everything sounded more thrilling than sitting on a cold hard piano seat monotonously moving my fingers from white to black, and to white keys again.
My grandmother was a woman of a small stature and few words. Despite her size, she spoke decisively, articulating every syllable, and had strong opinions she held until the end. Our adventures would begin when my parents went to work and would drop me off at grandma's fourth floor apartment where I would do homework and learn piano. Before long, she became the best friend who told me my favorite fairytales before I went to sleep and who let me climb the monkey bars one last time even when my hands were caked with dirt.
Although I genuinely loved visiting grandma's house, I unfortunately began to dislike her piano lessons; the material got harder each week, thus forcing me to spend more and more time every day perfecting a song. Sensing disinterest during my lessons when I would leave with a yawn instead of a smile, my grandma thought quickly to revive my love for music. The following week, instead of the usual lesson, she drove me to New York City, saying she had a surprise for me. Before I knew it, we were standing outside Carnegie Hall, an astounding performance center for accomplished musicians around the world. It turned out that her friend's 17-year-old granddaughter was having a performance this afternoon in one of the smaller rooms inside this building. My grandmother brought me here, hoping the young girl's musicianship would inspire me to continue my passion for piano and reach for new heights. To this day, I am thankful for that trip. Ever since that day, I have felt my love for music renewed repeatedly only to find it stronger each time. When lessons become tedious and songs are more challenging than I had expected, my grandmother would always be there, continuously pushing me forward and reminding me of our trip to Carnegie Hall.
The beginning years of a pianist's journey are always the hardest; however, those who defeat this obstacle earn mastery of such a magnificent instrument. I have one individual to thank for this. She encouraged me to continue practicing piano even when it was getting difficult, promising me that if I did, I will one day be able to play beautiful melodies like the girl in Carnegie Hall. Most importantly, it was from her invaluable life lesson I learned that persistence and hard work are the first steps for making my dreams realities. Grandma, I thank you.
Please specifically look at my grammar (like commas and tenses and stuff).
Especially:
-It was easier said than done, because as a 5-year-old girl, everything sounded more thrilling than sitting on a cold hard piano seat monotonously moving my fingers from white to black, and to white keys again.
-Despite her size, she spoke decisively, articulating every syllable, and had strong opinions she held until the end.
-Grandma, I thank you. (is this weird? should i end with something else that says it was my grandma?)
I'm not sure which tense I should use and if I used the correct ones throughout my essay!. Thanks so much :D