Undergraduate / "my school's Pom squad" - Common App Short Answer - Activity [4]

Prompt: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).

Being a "typical" Asian girl-a shy, quiet, straight-A student-I surprised many of my peers when I made it onto my school's Pom squad. Similar to a dance team, the squad is one of the most popular and elite groups at my school with over sixty eager girls trying out every year for nine available spots. My sophomore year, I was one of those nine girls. Since then, being on the squad has certainly changed my high school experience. I have become friends with girls who I never would have talked to otherwise-girls who have helped me break free from my quiet exterior. After performing at football games and competing in festivals, I have shown my friends and fellow peers that I am more than just that "shy Asian girl." Yes, I get good grades. Yes, I am good at math. But being on the squad has taught me that I have so many other great qualities outside of the academic realm, and becoming a Pom was just the first step in displaying those qualities. Now, I am on the verge of beginning a new chapter in my life, and I can't wait to share more.

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i know this is a little longer than 150 words, so i'll make sure to cut down on it.. but am i on the right track so far? i feel like i'm talking about myself more than the actual activity.. would you agree?

any kind of feedback would be great. thank you! (: