Undergraduate / "You can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it,"One Page Autobiography [3]

I have to write Maximum one page autobiography about myself. I would really appreciate any suggestion to improve my mini essay. Thanks a lot,

"You can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it, " said, a 68-year-old South Korean woman who passed written driver's license exam on her 950th try. I strongly believe that determination and commitment is essential components of any success, but that is not all of the ingredients. One cannot simply accomplish his/her dream with an empty commitment. A commitment should have a value for the person, and it requires an action. I personally consider my success as a result of dedication and persistent; establishing positive attitude toward my goal and finally getting my hands on action. I never let failures to stop me, but I see a failure as a component of a success, and I consider every failed try an attempt that gets me closer to my goal.

It was August 2007 when I left Afghanistan to study in the United States. My friends were not sure I would be able to pass my GED test, instead, they advised me to get a job in oil field and make quick money. Their advices bothered, but did not stop me from chasing my dream. The next month, I went and signed up in Bakersfield Adult School. Within couple of months, I was able to pass my GED test and made my way to college. Within a year and half, I gradated from Bakersfield College with an honor degree in Associate in Arts. Now, I am here starting my second quarter at CSUB hoping to graduate with a bachelor by the end of 2010 and by 2012 with my Master in Economics.

During this short journey, I have come a cross of a lot obstacle and financial hurdles, but I never lost my hope. Instead, I struggled, modified my life and looked for alternatives. For instance, when the gas price went up, I moved closer to college so I did not have to drive anymore. When I lost my job, I applied for financial aid and student loan, and instead of buying new books; I tried to utilize library resources, until I get a good deal on used books on Ebay or Amazon. Yes persistent and dedication is a key to success, and today I am proud to say that I am an example of a successful person. I am determined to make my long holding dream a reality no matter what. I thank you in advance for considering my application, and I promise you that your contribution will make a big difference for me and my community.