Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by seattlelite
Joined: Dec 27, 2009
Last Post: Dec 27, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
seattlelite   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Northwestern Supplement Seeking the Relationships Between the Outerworld Help [17]

You have a strong introduction, I like how descriptive you are about Northwestern's beauty. However, I think you could definitely work on strengthening your second paragraph, providing more specific details.

I'm also working on Northwestern's supplement--could you take a look at my essay and tell me what you think?
seattlelite   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Northwestern essay: unique qualities of Northwestern.... [3]

The passion I have towards my nation, my drive to attain success not for the betterment of myself, but the improvement of those around me, and the strength and determination that lies within me will allow me to fully utilize all the opportunities Northwestern has to offer to not only cultivate my aspirations but also bring about success and happiness for my people back home.This run on sentence is a bit confusing-maybe you could rework it or condense it so it doesn't lose its meaning?

I also noticed you used at least one "not only...but also" statement in each paragraph. There's nothing wrong with this, but it does get a bit repetitive. Try using different wording or switching it up for more variety.

I'm working on the supplement essay for NU as well--could you give me some feedback on mine?
seattlelite   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Freedom of speech, alternative energy, northwestern supplement essay - why NU? [4]

This is my first draft and I'm not sure what to think of it. Feedback/corrections are greatly appreciated! (:

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

In high school I've become a firm believer and supporter of the maxim "Quality over quantity." Seeing protesters on the street, urgently fighting to stop bills that would increase class sizes in my school district as a young child, I was puzzled because I thought that bigger class sizes would save the state money on education while also helping more students at the same time. In high school I realized what fueled those protesters. I excelled best in my smallest classes, which enabled me to work at my own pace and provided more personal attention from my teachers. I never had to worry that my teacher would be too busy to answer my question because the class was small enough for the teacher to attend to each student closely. Northwestern University boasts, understandably, of its low student to faculty ratio of 7:1. If I was able to work better in my classes of less than 20 students than those of over 30, I believe that the 7 to 1 student to professor ratio is one that would surely allow me to establish a strong working relationship with my professors and provide me with guidance and support that would otherwise be limited in larger classes. Although the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences is the largest of Northwestern's eleven schools, I know I will receive the personal attention I need to excel from my Weinberg College Adviser, thanks to the school's exceptional advising system.

I also appreciate Northwestern's drive to discover alternative energy sources not only because it reminds me of Seattle and its environmental consciousness, but also because it shows that the university is concerned with moving forward and finding solutions to today's world issues. Just recently, scientists at Northwestern discovered that energy from bacteria can be harnessed to turn microgears. As a leader of our school's [environmental club], I realize that our world's resources are threatened by our society and that anyone can make a difference by taking action, whether it is small or large. Thus, the fact that this university is researching the development of bio-inspired dynamically adaptive materials for energy reflects awareness, commitment, and responsibility, traits that I find are desirable traits in my future school and will help enable me to do the same.

Another quality of Northwestern that I find admirable is its unyielding support of one's freedom of speech. When Arthur Butz, its associate professor of electrical engineering, publically congratulated Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when he issued a statement denying the Holocaust, controversy inundated the university, but the university still stood by its principles. Rather than firing Butz, Northwestern president Henry Bienen asserted that Butz, like all the other faculty members was "entitled to express his personal views." I believe that a university that advocates one's right to express themselves freely would help me grow personally because the professors may freely convey what they are passionate about. Although I might not agree with every professor's views and ideas, it would help me see the different aspects of each topic, thus broadening the horizons of my learning experience.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳