Undergraduate / Hindi:Tell us about an intelectual experience or project that has influenced you [7]

a gr8 essay..nt much 2 change...n u dnt need da additional paragraph...da qway it is now, it hooks da reader..u conveyed emotions vrey well thru ur essay..keep it up!

Undergraduate / I am half Filipino, a quarter Sri Lankan and a quarter Anglo Indian; Roomate/Babson [4]

there is no flow...it sounds more as if someone is blabing...i didnt get interested...da 1st thing u shud do is catch da reader's attention, den put ur points in a neat arrangement with some flowery language, n da endin must mak da readr want 2 think abt da essay in a good way aftr readin it..lyk u want 2 re-read a good book....dat's basically my idea of doing it..