Undergraduate / 'Becoming involved' - Cornell-College of Arts and Sciences supplemental [5]

Here is my essay I have written for Cornell... I could really use some help in editing it, as well as opinions about the general message of the essay.

It has a max of 500 words, and right now I am about 35 words over, so if you see any place where I can trim down, that would help too. Thank you!

Prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (500 words max)

When I was four I wanted to be a mermaid, just like Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid. Soon, that ridiculous dream transformed; I wanted to be a princess. After that, my answer to the infamous "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question changed rapidly. I wanted to be the first woman president, an astronaut, a chef, and sometimes, a ballerina. Although the answer changed, an answer always existed for whichever grown-up had asked it.

As I grew older, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" has become an increasingly harder question to answer. It was in junior high school when I realized I no longer have an answer at all. Each subject had something to offer, and each one was exciting. I was reassured that this would change in high school, when I was given the opportunity to take harder classes. Four years later, however, I find I am facing the same problem, although I have narrowed my choices considerably: chemistry, biology, and history have become the center of my academic interest.

The further I explore these three subjects, the more involved I become. Over the summer, I decided to take a more concentrated course in biology at the local community college to see whether it was something I was truly interested in. After six weeks of intense study, I was more attached to the subject than ever before. Biology, like chemistry, opened up a new world for me; a world where my curiosity could grow, and I could explore and experiment in the real world. With every advance placement course I took in history, I only found myself falling deeper in love. My fondness for history hit a new level last year when I took Art History AP, which instantly became one of my favorite subjects. I found that each piece of art had a deeper dimension, revealed only to those who searched for it. I longed to be one of those people, and poured all my heart into that class. From it, I developed a deep appreciation for art that I never thought possible.

My gradual journey to find my own answer has been slow, but I know that because of that, there is still a world of possibility and exploration for me, and I can think of nothing more exciting. Just as I was able to narrow down my choices from junior high school to high school, I hope that Cornell will give me the opportunity to take the final stride in finding my answer to the question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" The College of Arts and Sciences, I believe, is perfect because it encourages its students to study a diverse range of subjects. With its emphasis on undergraduate research and interdisciplinary work, I believe I will be able to find an answer to my question while being surrounded by people who, like me, are excited about this opportunity to discover. I might no longer want to be a mermaid, chef, or ballerina, but I know that I will be able to find what I want to be while taking advantage of all that Cornell University has to offer.

Thanks!

Undergraduate / I found a new "passion"; Pomona- high school experience [4]

Here's the essay I've written for Pomona. I really need help editing it, so please tear it up!

Prompt: What experience in high school has mattered most to you? How do you see this experience influencing your decision-making in college?

Three months ago I had been living a different life. Three months ago, I had graduated Jr. High School with my best friends, the ones I had known since 3rd grade. Three months ago, I had sat down and decided which classes I would be taking for the next four years at high school. Three months ago, I had a plan for the rest of my life.

Then, everything changed. My father dragged the family to Mougins, France. Presently, I sat, not in ninth grade at Los Altos High, but in "Form 10" at Mougins School. The class I was currently in was my new drama class. If my friends back in California had heard this, they probably would have laughed out loud, thinking it was a joke. I was not an actor, nor had I ever shown any interest in pursuing a career in show business. Yet here I was, willing to give it a shot.

It had actually been my mother who had changed my mind about moving to this little town in France. What had been a catastrophic turn of events in my perfectly planned life, turned into an opportunity to find my new "passion." My mother had pointed out that not a single one of the kids slumped in desks around me knew anything about who I was. I could be an entirely different person. They had no idea that I was not an actor. To be honest, even I did not know if I was an actor. This new school, however, was my chance to discover just that. This was my opportunity to find out what I still did not know about myself.

So, I signed up for a drama class, and then auditioned for the school play. However, I knew that finding your passion did not mean just trying one new activity. I also joined the school's jazz band, participated in a fashion show, took a Jazz Dance class, and even made one disastrous attempt at playing with the school's "football" team. Trying all these activities was made more exciting because of the cultural differences. My dance class was completely in French, and the people I met through theater and jazz band taught me as much about their own cultures as I was learning about theater and jazz. My European friends were also very different from my friends in California. As a result, I found that I was exposed to new movies, books, and music. I was determined to try new things, however foreign and different they were.

Although I do not know if I found a new "passion," I discovered a lot about myself. I developed a love for French films, I found a hobby in Jazz Dance that I hope to continue, and I found that for the safety of others, I should not be allowed around a soccer ball. Most importantly, I discovered the importance of being open and trying new things. Through this experience, I have come to believe that it is necessary to try everything before making a decision. I look forward to the opportunity to enter college as an undecided major and experiment in a variety of fields before deciding my own field of study. More than anything, I have learned to be open to every opportunity, and every possibility.

Thank you!