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Posts by Kris012
Joined: Dec 28, 2009
Last Post: Dec 30, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: United States of America

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Kris012   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "My Mantra" - Common Application Essay [6]

This is great and well written, but I think its too long. The rule of thumb is usually around 500 words. I would try to cut it down at least 100 words. Maybe put a little less detail into the logistics of the event?? Your actions are what is most important. Hope this helps a litte!!

...
could you possibly give me a little feedback on my essay to brown/UVA?
Kris012   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / UVA/Brown Supplement - Buffalos [2]

I need some help getting some flow between paragraphs!! any suggestions for improvement are welcome! :)
What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?

I didn't think. It seems that at that level of physical exertion the mind goes numb and it is the very fibers of your being that pulse go, go, go. It is not until several strides after the finish line that everything settles back together, first comes the feeling of oxygen debt and exhaustion, which is quickly surpassed by the elation and jubilation as the times register on the screen. So much goes into those moments; those are what are chased after. But in life each achievement is a stepping stones, not a peak. Each success means that there is more to look for in the future, a new best time, the next improvement or scientific discovery that builds off the last, the next musical piece.

Running with the Buffalos, a novel by Chris Lear that follows the University of Colorado's Cross Country team through their 1998 season, has challenged and inspired me to stop at nothing, and not give less than a full effort toward my goals.

Though underfunded and injury-prone, the team's focus and determination, through tough workouts and hundred-mile weeks, is able to secure the greatest victory in collegiate cross country, the NCAA National Championships. Runners transformed from JV walk-ons to All-American athletes. The boy whose father walked out on the family and worked until midnight in high school to afford his equipment and races becomes the National Champion and an Olympic athlete.

"To be serious is the greatest joy", the quote that served as coach Mark Wetmore's computer screensaver and now hangs over my bed, is a culmination of spirit of the novel, and has become my life motto. It is an exultant feeling when working toward achieving a goal, every effort is a new stepping stone that puts purpose into life.
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