Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by jcelniker13
Joined: Dec 29, 2009
Last Post: Dec 30, 2009
Threads: -
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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jcelniker13   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment [6]

"Intrigued how much a decision can change face of the whole nation, I started reading more and more, transforming a mere curiosity about economics into the love of my life."

the beginning of the sentence is awkward and probably in passive voice. maybe try:

I started reading more and more, and soon my intrigue of how greatly one decision can affect a nation transformed a mere ...
jcelniker13   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App option 1) My volunteer trip to the Philippines [3]

I think cutting down on the helping verbs will really make your paper a lot stronger. The ideas are definitely there - I felt your passion, and I remembered my service trip just from reading your words. You're sentence structure flows well and is quite varied as well. If you focus on your tense stuff, trying to get more active, powerful verbs, I think you'll be set
jcelniker13   
Dec 29, 2009
Grammar, Usage / Whats a word that means "Big or small"? [7]

i'm not sure if you're going to find one word that suits your needs, in what context do you need this word?
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