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Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment


JamesLe 1 / 5  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
In an effort to learn more about you, we ask that you describe an intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment.
One day, I happened to read an article on Polish economic reform in 1989. It was as if I read a fable; it was too unreal. Just a few decades ago, in a now flourishing country, there was nothing but vinegar on the shop shelves and inflation was closing 700% per year. Living in Poland for 17 years, I experienced first-hand how much the country has changed since then. Intrigued how much a decision can change face of the whole nation, I started reading more and more, transforming a mere curiosity about economics into the love of my life.

OK, I'm really stuck here. Just don't know what I should write next. Any suggestions?

Corrections on grammar also greatly appreciated.
Thanks! :-)

jcelniker13 - / 3  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
"Intrigued how much a decision can change face of the whole nation, I started reading more and more, transforming a mere curiosity about economics into the love of my life."

the beginning of the sentence is awkward and probably in passive voice. maybe try:

I started reading more and more, and soon my intrigue of how greatly one decision can affect a nation transformed a mere ...
OP JamesLe 1 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
Thank you. :)
Any more suggestions? I will post the whole answer soon. :D
obituary 2 / 4  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
You started out with a strong introduction by giving a good example. Just start saying why you like Economics and what it is that you enjoy about it, next. Make sure that you link Economics to yourself.
OP JamesLe 1 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Thank you obituary. It really helped.

Here is the nearly finished essay. (character limit: 2000; it's 1439 right now)

One day, I happened to read an article on Polish economic reform in 1989. It was as if I read a fable; it was too unreal. Just a few decades ago, in a now flourishing country, there was nothing but vinegar on the shop shelves and inflation was closing 700% per year. Living in Poland for 14 years, I experienced first-hand how much the country has changed since then. I started reading more and more, and soon my intrigue of how greatly one decision can affect a nation transformed a mere curiosity about economics into the love of my life.

I love economics because it is a powerful tool for making sense of the modern world and its intricacies. So much can be explained using the knowledge of economics. "Why did the price of my favorite corn flakes suddenly shot up? Why the Vietnamese VTV channel did not buy the copyright to transmit Miss World 2009? " These are only some of millions of questions whose answers derive from economics' use of demand-and-supply analysis.

Not only a fascinating subject, economics also takes full advantage of who I am - a fusion between two different cultures: Asian and European. My understanding of various languages and cultures will be challenged since macroeconomics deals with foreign affairs. I realized that my unique upbringing and experiences can evolve a potential in economics into a success in business world; I could climb up to the very top of the ladder someday, or even better - buy it.

Still thinking about the conclusion. Argh! I'm having a temperature right now, so I just can't think clearly. :(

However, I do think this essay still lacks something. It would be great if you give me advice on how to improve it or just say what you think about it.

Thank you all in advance!

P.S: Ah, and I really need it fast. Thanks again! :)
PrettyBoyu 4 / 19  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
hey sorry to sat that but i am not very impressed by your essay
The college asks your to tell your accomplishment and interest
It seems like you write so few that people may ignore your main point

What is your interest actually?


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