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Posts by ubr001
Joined: Jan 14, 2010
Last Post: Jan 20, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 8  

From: USA

Displayed posts: 10
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ubr001   
Jan 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "success as a Peace Corps Volunteer" - Peace Corp Appliation Essay #2 [2]

Peace Corps Essay #2
By John Mark Ratkovich

Life in Spain



Since I was a young boy, I have had a natural knack for leadership. I have always wanted to be first in line, front of the class, first to volunteer and counselor instead of camper. I always wanted to be the hero of any situation and I reveled in the compliments of others about the quality of my work or behavior.

From a Summer Camp Counselor, to substitute teaching karate classes at my University, I have always been motivated to step in and take over. I once volunteered as a Construction Assistant for Habitat for Humanity and headed up several projects with groups of three or four other volunteers, removing an old building in Chicago. As an accomplished potter, I have many times supplemented my teachers in my pottery classes in the demonstrating and teaching of pottery techniques to other students.

My first experience abroad was during my high school years, while a junior. I participated in an 8 week work project in Sonora Mexico. Ten students along with two faculty members, travelled from Iowa to live in a small village of some 30 or 40 people. Our main purpose was to help develop the community in ways such as building shelters, irrigation for crops, water and sewer plans, and cooking. We lived in cardboard huts, and slept on cots with the local people and worked during the days to help them improve their own community.

Inspiring ourselves and the local people to accept one another's' ideas and developing a trust between both sides was paramount to obtaining the goals we had set for ourselves.

While we were there mainly to help them find independent ways to meet their needs, we certainly received our share of education and benefit from the sharing of their culture. Working side by side with unfamiliar tools and practices, and being forced to speak the native Spanish language was a tremendous experience and development of our appreciation for not only the language but also, things like cooking, building, and general work ethics.

We accomplished a remarkable amount in such a short time and the gratitude from both sides was very evident.

Living in Spain for a year, during my junior year of college, was a second experience that I was fortunate enough to have participated in. A small town called Salamanca, located in the center of the country was my home for a very special part of my life. I left college for a year and went to live in Salamanca. Being on my own to find a place to live and establish a "life" was challenging, but as with everything, over a short time my Spanish improved dramatically and I became much more confident. I signed myself up in a college, a university and a local high school, where I audited classes and absorbed as much of this new culture as I could. I went to a local pottery shop and volunteered my experiences to some of the local students. I helped develop part of the high school's computer system and I spent many hours with the local young people, socializing and exchanging cultural differences.

Being a young American in Spain made it rather easy to take the interest of other local young people, but like every situation, it takes an effort and a particular tact to develop the trusts that allow unfamiliar people to closely interact with each other.

These two specific experiences living abroad, along with a multitude of local interactive activities and projects that I have participated in, in my life, has given me the confidence and skill set I need to be ready, willing and able to face pretty much any new adventure with excitement and enthusiasm.

I see the Peace Corps as the peak of the mountain. It will be the ultimate reality I have been exposed to only slightly in my life. I want to make a difference somewhere and grow my own repertoire of experiences at the same time. The Peace Corps can make that happen for me, and I know that I can make the Peace Corps an even more productive organization, in whatever small contributions I can give.
ubr001   
Jan 19, 2010
Scholarship / The first Asian House representative in United Sates, McDonald Scholarship Essay [3]

HI, I tried to reply to your essay yesterday and by the time I did the work below, your essay had been removed from the site and I could not find it. Now I see you made many changes yourself already. Below is what I would have said on the first version. Maybe you can use some of this information as a guideline to apply on your current version. Also, Im not sure you really mean the word "hate" in your phrase "much criticism and hate intended. Please destroy and rip my essay apart" at the end of essay. Good luck!

Please describe your personal and educational goals. What challenges have you faced that have helped shaped those goals? How have you dealt with those challenges? (500 hundred words max)

This is my suggestion:

My childhood fantasies always revolved around the excitement and intrigue held by characters with super human powers. Spiderman and Power Ranger were my favorites. They seemed invincible and all I ever wanted was to be like them. Now that I have grown older and come to separate fantasy from reality, I find that I still crave the heroic traits I so admired in my childhood heroes.

I have realized that although I will never have the super human strengths of Spiderman, I do have some outstanding qualities, and although I may not be able to swing from building to building, saving people from destruction, I am able to apply my strengths to a real life career and the one I feel I would be the most satisfied with is to be the first Asian House Representative in the United States Political System.

This position is an emblem of our great nation. It is the inventor of our laws and the messenger who brings them forth to a population of three hundred million people. It represents the power I seek in its ability to listen to the cries of the people and forge the bills to fight for their suffering.

Our government is predominately white. Asians have not yet branched throughout the American political system. In my opinion, this is what needs to be changed. I wish to be the one to change that in whatever little way I can. Just as President Obama is the first African American to achieve the almighty position of leader of the free world, so do I yearn to give a larger scope of meaning to my people in this country by bridging them and their political institutions together.

The greatest obstacle to realizing an Asian member of The House lies in the very path that it takes to reach it. Education and a strong "voice" are required. I wish to design my career around the discovery of how to connect to a multi-racial society and its needs.

By achieving advanced education and experience in Communications, Law, Political Science and other relevant subjects, I intend to earn my people's votes. My fantasy will be a reality, and I will finally have achieved the "super powers" I desired for so long.
ubr001   
Jan 18, 2010
Undergraduate / I am mr. Lonely. Advice type essay [7]

Hi, I think I might see some grammar errors. I am putting what I think might be errors i CAPS. Good Luck jm

Smiles coverED the concerns and worries that filled his heart as a parent.

As I would later discover from my mother the sorrow he had driving home.<- I THINK THAT SENTENCE NEEDS TO BE RESAID. I DONT THINK IT IS A PROPER SENTENCE. It was on the night of my departure to my new high school in the States, as a junior. <- I THINK THAT SENTENCE NEEDS TO BE RESAID. I DONT THINK IT IS A PROPER SENTENCE. Eager to experience the new surroundings, I was unaware of the bumpy road that lies LAY ahead.

YOU WERE TALKING IN THE PAST BEFORE AND NOW YOU SWITCH TO THE PRESENT. ?

NervousNESS, excitement, and fear. ALL all of these emotions bombarded me simultaneously. Never being parted from my family for more than a month (and inhabiting a dependent character < - REMOVER THIS WHOLE SECTION - IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE), I was in doubt about my future as a boarding student. As the only Thai student in school, loneliness immediately became the first challenge I faced on MYthe first week of school.

... also helped me become optimistic about my loneliness (WERE YOU OPTIMISTIC ABOUT YOUR LONLINESS OR WERE YOU MORE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT YOUR NEW LIFE ALONE?)

Other students areWERE probably also yearning to be with their family and friends in their OWN countryCOUNTRIES. Day by dayWITH EACH PASSING DAY, I opened my heart to other students, in hopes of fabricatingDEVELOPING a friendship.

The advice MY FATHER HAD GIVEN ME guided me through times of difficulties and gave me hope of moving forward.

My dad's advice changed my perspective on life and made me realize that facing challenges is part of our daily livesPERIOD ; WEwe all face challenges differently, and these challenges make us stronger and tougherCOMMA both physically and mentally.
ubr001   
Jan 18, 2010
Undergraduate / "My professional experiences vary a lot" - Peace Corps Acceptance Essay #1 [11]

YES! That was the one! I think I may have offered some decent thoughts that the person could use. I saved my work, so if you can somehow get me to that persons' thread, I would love to post the work I did. Its no masterpiece, but Im sure they would like the feedback.

If you can find that one, I will be glad to try another one and then be able to post a 2nd one of my own!

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me personally. Im sure this work keeps you very busy! :)

JM
ubr001   
Jan 18, 2010
Undergraduate / "My professional experiences vary a lot" - Peace Corps Acceptance Essay #1 [11]

Susan, I went to start a new thread and got a message saying that I must first comment significantly on two other essays before I am allowed to post my 2nd post. I went to an Unanswered post and copied it to my Word editor and spent a good hour and a half offering my perspective, and when I went to post it, I was told the thread had been deleted or some other reaon I could not post it! Uuughh! Not sure what to do. I could not find the Essay I was editing in the Search Bar. It was about an Asian who wanted to be a member of the House of Representatives.

Is it true that I have to edit two other essays before I can post another one? Im now a bit gun shy about doing it as thoroughly as the one I just did. Any comments? Thanks! jm
ubr001   
Jan 18, 2010
Undergraduate / "My professional experiences vary a lot" - Peace Corps Acceptance Essay #1 [11]

Susan, Thank you for the prompt reply and the very nice compliments. I tried very hard on the essay and your comments really made me feel good and even more confident.

I incorporated all the changes you suggested and I think that first essay is shortly ready for submission. I added a very specific address of the question you reiterated about the "challenging expectations". If you would like to see or critique the "final" draft I would be happy to repost it. I undersand you are probably as busy as can be, so I wont do that unless requested.

I do have the second essay ready for review and I was wondering if you wouldnt mind reviewing that one too? Of course it responds to a different premise than the first one did.

If you can let me know that would be very helpfull. My regular email is Jmark@unifiedbarcode.com, but I will also check back here in a couple days too.

Thanks again for your time and your very nice coments and corrections!

JM
ubr001   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "My professional experiences vary a lot" - Peace Corps Acceptance Essay #1 [11]

Traveling and My Experiences



Peace Corps Essay #1

I am 48 years old. I live in America and have had the privilege of enjoying a varied and full life. I even served in the US Military and yet, the United States Peace Corps service was literally undefined to me until just recently in my life. All of my life that I can remember, I have wanted to help other people, give back to my many communities, volunteer for anything and everything, and just do good things that other people might notice or be advantaged by. Yet in looking back on my life, I find that I have not nearly fulfilled that desire to the extent that I wanted to.

I have now come to a time in my life where I strongly feel there is a window of opportunity being presented to me that could allow me to not only accomplish those desires, but also to be able to do it in an organized fashion that could result in other people truly benefitting from my contributions. The Peace Corps is an organization with the structure and resources to assist me in accomplishing my goals. Learning about the function and purpose of the Peace Corps has spurred my motivation to take advantage of that window of opportunity.

My past experiences in life have been many. I have traveled extensively, lived abroad, attended exceptional schools, dedicated time to uncommon hobbies, and participated in many activities that have all cumulatively created the persona I now am.

My experiences vary from Bee Keeping, Gardening, Pig Farming, Folk Dancing, Theatre and Woodworking in my early school years, to Pottery, Drumming, Fishing and Flying in my later years. Along with this is an education in Electrical, Plumbing and Construction trades, and a Military and University education in Computers. I have traveled to over 20 countries on multiple occasions with extended stays in both Spain and Mexico. A University Degree in Computer Engineering and 20 years of Computer, Finance and Small Business Administration round out my professional life, and most recently, I have found the time and desire to tutor English to Adults in my community.

These past experiences and the current sudden availability of time and resources to me, has increased my desire to fulfill my hopes of helping others.

I am ready for a life change. I am also ready to help potentially provide a life change for someone else. I have no grand illusions about changing the world or even really changing any one persons' life significantly. However, I do know that being part of an ongoing initiative, where everyone involved is there for the same purpose, can make a significant difference.

If I am accepted in the Peace Corps, the single most difficult issue I will face is the practical preparation for the departure. Any significant change in life can always be accomplished better with preparation and forethought. I have already begun examining the arrangements that are going to be needed for such issues as lease termination, business requirements replacements, payables and receivables handling, and storage for personal goods. I also am formulating a plan for when I return; doing my best to leave open options for the hopeful possibility of an extended stay with the Peace Corps, if that should be my destiny. My preparation plans will firm up and become much more forefront, once an acceptance is obtained, but with the proper planning and timing, I am comfortable that it can all be handled in a smooth and sensible way.

One of my life goals is to be able to look back and be satisfied that I participated in volunteer programs and other actions that hopefully have made an actual positive difference in some other, less privileged part of our world. I want to be proud to be a part of the type of people who don't spend their life just dreaming of this, but actually make it happen.

I feel strongly that I can bring a substantial contribution to the table. I am generally flexible and can easily adapt to most any environment. I enjoy the dynamics of working with others and always respect the fact that there are always other valid perspectives. I find deflection a better defense than absorption, and conflict, in general, is not part of my lifestyle. I tend to listen more than speak, and "do" more than "talk about" doing. I am persistent and will avoid undertaking a project where I don't anticipate a satisfactory conclusion.

As a private pilot and a business manager, I have developed a permanent sense of responsibility for those around and involved with me. Protecting and observing everyone's best interest is my nature. Doing so within the restrictions and limitations of my current environment is something I am always aware of. Being proud to be an American and a US Citizen is something I will constantly justify. And yet, while I feel privileged to be from the United States, I am also aware that others feel the same about their own countries and origins. Therefore I will always proudly represent my country and yet remain flexible and accepting of others cultures and ideologies.

Throughout my travels abroad, there have been many things that I have learned. However, one lesson stands out more so than any other: the fact that so many Americans have never left the United States, or have only been exposed to the more modern and Westernized world outside the US. There is an endless amount of culture and wonderment beyond our borders that I have just begun to scratch the surface of. I wish to share my experiences, excitements and adventurous stories with every American with whom I have the occasion, in the hopes that they too, may be inspired and more open minded about the cultures of the rest of the world.
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