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Posts by shortyi3
Joined: Jan 16, 2010
Last Post: Feb 26, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

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shortyi3   
Feb 26, 2010
Book Reports / Essay about the use of diction in William Stafford's "Traveling Through the Dark [3]

It sounds really great so far. I've never read the poem before, but from your analysis I can already start to understand much of the techniques used by the author.

-As for the thesis, I would say to take out the part about "his use of verbs" because that should be a specific point to talk about later in the body paragraphs. And instead, put something like "the diction does...this" so that way you're identifying the literary device you'll be talking about and also pointing out WHAT that device does.

-And, yes, your topic sentences should do the same thing. Instead of "uses CLEVER words" put something more specific like what type of "clever" words. saying that he uses clever words doesn't really tell me anything. also instead of "specific line" say why it's important ie: "another emotional line" or "thought-provoking" or something like that.

-You could try to identify any metaphors/ similes or personification<-- all great literary devices.
GREAT JOB!
shortyi3   
Feb 26, 2010
Scholarship / Essay about Italian pride -scholarship [2]

Prompt: Sumbit a typewritten original essay of 500-750 words about a personal experience which demonstrated pride in your Italian heritage.

The summer before I entered high school, only one thing occupied my mind. I wasn't concerned with summer jobs or summer reading assignments; I wasn't worried about being a freshman at a new school or buying new clothes for the new school year. I just couldn't wait for the FIFA World Cup. Every day leading up to the opening match, I was on the FIFA website, memorizing schedules, entering drawings, and learning team facts -I could tell you every detail from the type of ball that was going to be used to specific players' preference of cleats. I had been playing soccer ever since I could remember, but this was the first time I really got into the World Cup games. Through all my fascination and despite the other 31 teams competing for the FIFA World Cup Trophy -I had been routing for Italy from the beginning.

When Italy made it to the finals, I was ecstatic! I remember sitting on the couch at my great-grandmother's house, with my family all crowded around the TV. The game was now 20 minutes into overtime and not a single goal from either team. After two hours of pure hard-playing soccer and not a single goal, my brother decided to go to the bathroom. A few seconds later Italy shoots one into the back of the net and everyone in my family leaps off the couch, screaming for joy! I hear my brother's voice, "What happened? Did we score?!?" Before we even had a chance to settle back down...Italy did it again! Two goals within two minutes after a brutal two hours of play, it was incredible -and my poor brother had missed it all in one bathroom run.

With Italy on their way to victory, the day I had been waiting for had finally come. There I was with my green Italian jacket on and a soccer ball at my feet -too anxious to keep still. This time, sitting on my couch I was leaned forward as Italy scored the final penalty shot winning the World Cup. I threw my head back hitting the wall and leaving a bump for the next few days; but it didn't matter -we had won.

Thankfully, this time my brother got to witness the whole thing and a few weeks later we celebrated with all my Italian family living in America. At that dinner, I realized why I had so much pride in my Italian heritage. All of the excitement and joy that I felt connected to with Italian fans thousands of miles away practically around the world, I could sense right here in the midst of my own family. I heard old stories from my great-uncle about early Italian-American life and I saw all of the humor and livelihood that they still possessed. Nothing could give me greater pride than that.

I hope that sometime within the next four years at college, I will have the opportunity to study abroad in Italy. My goal is to learn the language fluently by the time I'm twenty, so that I'll be able to communicate for the first time with my family who live there. There are so many sights of Italy that I can't wait to see, but I'll always remember when my team won the World Cup...and this summer when the games once again commence for 2010, I will be rooting for the defending champions until the last whistle's blown.
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