Graduate / applying Compute Integrated Manufacturing (Asia University) [6]

I want to get the comment for that essay.Is it ok or not?please.

why you wish to pursue this programme and how you would use the knowledge you gain from it in practice

As a computer science student at University of Computer Studies, I am receiving a particularly well-rounded education in computer science. During my studies, I have to learn the core subjects of computer science and did the assignments and projects. In my graduate studies, we had to learn advanced knowledge of the computer science. I like most of the subjects during my studies. School lessons give me excitements all time. While this meant additional work, I improved my study skills. And in the third year project, we submitted video rental system. There were five members in our group. I especially emphasized doing the data collection because I was weak in Programming that time. And I had to help System study and program design. I am very interested in System Design and programming very much. During my academic year, I became interested in Database management and Information Management. After getting Bachelor degree, I attended Honours and Master degree continuously. This is because I want to know deeply about information management. In the honours and master degree coursework, I am interested in distributed operating system, distributed databases, mobile agent's area, and database management system. After I graduated master coursework, I worked my thesis with the title of "Implementation of data warehouse based on semantic relationship". It is dynamic data integration from various heterogeneous data source and has just finished February, 2009. And also I finished advanced diploma in business administration course at May, 2007. And there have some programs in Computer Integrated Manufacturing which related with management field and computer field like Product design and development, Management of global manufacturing operations and networking and databases. It makes me interested to apply this program. I intend to continue my study in database and management areas at an internationally recognized university. Therefore, I decided to apply the graduate course at your university. It would be grateful for me if I'm accorded the opportunity to pursue my graduate studies at your institution. I believe that my motivation and my qualification to the field of management and database indicate that I will be successful as a graduate student. I consider the knowledge, experiences and opportunities that are associated with the earning of the Master degree valuable and I am prepared to invest my time and my energy toward earning this degree. I hope to be given the opportunity to accomplish this at --. After graduating from Computer Integrated Manufacturing, I not only extend my further studies to doctoral degree but also employ my knowledge and my experience in practical work.