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Posts by Hulk694
Joined: Feb 1, 2010
Last Post: Feb 6, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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Hulk694   
Feb 6, 2010
Grammar, Usage / Active Verb Sentence [5]

How do you make this sentence an active verb instead of a passive?

This goal was seldom achieved by most due to low wage jobs and discriminations based on race, religion and gender.

Since "the achieved by" is passive.

Thanks for the help
Hulk694   
Feb 6, 2010
Graduate / SOP: M.Sc. in High Performance Computing from the University of Edinburgh [6]

All of the paragraphs are well written, but the concluding paragraph looks a bit too long. It just look weird to me since you have the first three paragraphs having about the same amount. I suggest that you broaden the first three paragraphs if you can to make it look even because the last paragraph is really good (and I don't think it's a good idea to cut it).
Hulk694   
Feb 1, 2010
Book Reports / American Dream in the 20th Century (The Great Gatsby) [3]

Prompt:

The search for the fulfillment of the "American Dream" has taken on many characteristics throughout the 20th century. Using The Great Gatsby as a starting point, analyze this search by examining various representations of the "American Dream." Analyze how and why the vision(s) of the "American Dream" influenced the decisions and actions of individuals in both fictional and real-life situations. Consider both historical and literary evidence to demonstrate your interpretation of the "American Dream."

My introduction:

The American Dream is a notion that anyone can succeed through hard work in their pursuit of happiness. However, it can mean different things to many people. Some may also see it as to the pursuit of wealth and material excess. In the Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald depicts the 1920's as a time of decayed social and moral values, since almost all of the characters are not content with what they have. With technological innovation growing, society was caught up by the media and everything around them, which caused them to believe that the American Dream was more than just freedom and happiness. Competition among the people also caused them to desire things that they would never have before, which includes expensive things, such as big mansions and fancy cars. These things as the desire for money and worldly pleasure result in the corruption of the true American Dream.

Is this a good intro?
What would you recommend to make it better?
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