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Posts by kaylacotie
Joined: Feb 18, 2010
Last Post: Feb 23, 2010
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Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
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kaylacotie   
Feb 23, 2010
Scholarship / Scholarship Question: Why Did you leave school, why are you coming back? [3]

The train metaphor fits absolutely wonderfully into your paper; I would definitely not change it. Your paper is not cliche at all. It is unfortunate that the maximum word count allowed is 250 because I could definitely see this paper being very extended and in depth.
kaylacotie   
Feb 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / 'just a typical teenager' - Creative writing Who am i? essay [5]

Your essay is indeed very creative, descriptive, and informational, but you need to watch for run on sentences. There was a few instances where you separated too many ideas with commas. If you revise those few mistakes then you should be just fine.
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