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Posts by r43ew
Joined: Mar 17, 2010
Last Post: Mar 17, 2010
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r43ew   
Mar 17, 2010
Writing Feedback / GRE argument: sales prediction [2]

In sum, the author wants to make a prediction about the future sales whereas his deduction contains several facets that are questionable. However, if the author can provide a more convincing study to investigate the players' preference, at the same time, doing a more in-depth investigation of factors which can effectaffect the products' ? sales, the prediction would be relatively strengthened.

More than half of your sentences are negative. Please rephrase.
You should replace some repeated words.
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