Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Aina
Joined: Mar 23, 2010
Last Post: Apr 29, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Ireland

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Aina   
Apr 29, 2010
Poetry / A poem about an unhappy woman [4]

Notoman , I think it's a bit unarranged. Though, thank you. It is a big help for me.

EF_KEVIN , thanks a million! And for the advice.
Aina   
Mar 23, 2010
Poetry / A poem about an unhappy woman [4]

We were asked to make a poem. And I chose to make one about a broken-hearted girl.
This is what i've got so far :

Sun's rising up outside
Light never existed
I'll paint my world black and red
Bit my fingers off, cut off my vein, my eyes won't close
Why can't I do it?

I did everything just to make me bleed
But you're the one who could stop my breathing
How could you do it?

You never learned to hold my hand
Or even touch my wounded lips
These thorns are under my skin
How could you stabbed me
And keep yourself over the moon?

I think it's not that good. It could've been better. Can you help me please?

Thank you.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳