Posts by ZZsleepyZZ

ZZsleepyZZ

Apr 14, 2010

Poetry / Five sense poem about an emotion [7]

how about...

Jealousy is the color of black, slowly holding you captive
Jealousy is the smell of summers past and innocence lost
Jealousy is the taste of ripe green grapes (its sour at first, then the taste slowly settles)
Jealousy is the crescendo of wolves snarling
Jealousy is the look of a pruned face after eating soured limes
Jealousy is the feel of (something) eating away at you from inside-out

I hope this helps, not that i'mvery good at it.
(Porkissimo, i hope you don't mind me recycling some of your lines right.)

ZZsleepyZZ

Apr 14, 2010

Poetry / poem on war [2]

hi! little help here? please!? a thousand thanks!
i have to write a poem on war, i was trying to depict the horror of war, so its a bit depressing
this is what i got is it any good and can i fix it a bit. (no title yet though)

With the night passed a sorrowful blackness.
The greens and reds, the browns and amber-tinted,
The troughs and hills, the rivers and streams,
Had changed to shadows in one night.

In the distant landscape set purling upon roads' feet,
Out stretching and retiring the cold and fogs on the earth.
Resting and trembling, the army begins to awaken
At hostile noises, growing from campfires.

Reluctantly, low eyes passed to see,
Across which revealed low hills of corpses.
Were it banks of liquid mud could eyes cast,
Become gleams of eagerness, once more?