Writing Feedback / 'practice and hard work' - Successful sports professionals can earn huge money [3]

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, famous and successful sports professionals are always on the top of the rich who earn a huge amount of money every year more than people in other important occupations. It is always argued that whether or not athletes deserve with their huge incomes.

First of all, sport professionals practice and work very hard to achieve successes so it is not surprised when they earn a lot of money because they deserve with their contribution and devotion to sport. To get gold medals in Olympic Games or to be winners in big competitions, many athletes have to sacrifice their youth, appearances and happiness to play sports. In addition, they must obey strict diets, rules and difficult exercises that coaches give them. Some young sportsmen used to be far from home to attend long term training courses when they were small children and rarely visit their families. Furthermore, some of them are very busy with competitions held every month, so they spend most of their time for practice and do not have enough time for their families and friends as peers do. Nevertheless, they overcome all difficulties and obstacles in the path of success to win worthy championships.

However, some sports professionals are paid a great deal of money that is not meritorious with their contribution. For example, famous sportsmen, especially football players, make use of their reputation to earn a colossal sum of money easily. They can be paid from lucrative advertising contracts or shirt deals, even from their scandals. Despite the fact that athletes work and practice strenuously, it seems to be easier for them to earn money than other people in important occupations who also are very hard working.

In conclusion, although sports professionals are always considered as the rich who have huge incomes and comfortable life, they have to sacrifice a lot of valuable things in life to record great sports achievements. I believe that if athletes work really hard and devote wholeheartedly themselves to sport, they fully deserve with their incomes.

Writing Feedback / 'This issue is two-sided' - advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country [2]

OMG... I feel a little bit confused of repetition. I hate using too much 'people' , 'they', 'can'...Please help me!

Today, many young people have a dream of living and working abroad. In fact, the number of people in my country who go abroad for studying and immigration has increased significantly in recent years. To my way of thinking, this issue is two-sided. Although it brings a lot of benefits to people, they can have unexpected difficulties.

First of all, living and working in a foreign country has many advantages. It is a tempting opportunity for people to work in a professional international working environment, therefore they can gain a lot of useful experiences and valuable knowledge from world-class experts and collegues who come from different countries in the world. In addition, people have a chance to learn international languages when they live with native speakers. Furthermore, people can access to updated science and technology achievements, discover new areas and learn interesting things in foreign countries. Apart from that, people can enjoy a comfortable and convenient life due to the fact that the quality of life in some countries such as United States or England is very good. Besides, living in a strange country make people more confident and independent. For example, students who study far from their home have to do everything and solve their problems by themselves without help and support from family.

Nevertheless, people can get a lot of serious difficulties. Language barrier is considerd as one of common problems they face up everyday. It has a huge impact on the communication, life, work and study of people. Moreover, cultural divergences can lead racial conflicts and contradictions. Some young people can be involved in illegal actions because o the lack of experience. The discrimination in race, religious and sex sometimes is very dangerous to foreigners.

Writing Feedback / Some kinds of paid work affect badly to mental, physical and spiritual development of children [2]

in many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking resposibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

I really want to know which band score the essay below can get in the IELTS test. Thanks so much!

Today, in modern societies, children usually are encouraged live independently from early age. Although almost all of them are raised and educated sufficiently, many children are involved in some paid work to earn money.

Firstly, some adults argue that it has a huge negative impact on the development of children. I have sympathy with this influencing in opinion. Childhood is a period of time which is the most important stage in life of a child influencing the thinking and personality of children. As a result, children are vulnerable to some negative and dangerous jobs which threat directly to children. For example, some paid work such as cleaner or waiter in nightclubs can be dangerous for the reason that children easily access to threatening environment which is full of criminal. The lack of experiences also results in unpredictable consequences.

Nevertheless, I believe that paid work brings a lot of benefits to children who are independent and intelligent. In fact, children can gain a lot of valuable experiencies and practical knowledge that they can not comprehend from theoretical subjects everyday at school. Furthermore, living independently early make children more confident that is extremely helpful to their life later. In addition, children learn how to solve problems when they have difficulties, and the way to adjust their behaviour in specific situations in real life which helps them to not only make friends but also maintain and strength their relationships. Besides, children are also aware of taking full responsibility for their acts.

In conclusion, in my opinion, some kinds of paid work affect badly to mental, physical and spiritual development of children. However, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Life teaches a lot of valuable lessons that children never learn at school.

Writing Feedback / Fatherhood should be considered as important as motherhood [3]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up'. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I need useful advice for my essay from all members of this forum. Thanks a lot! And i also want to know which score my essay could be get in IELTS test?

This essay does not have the conclusion. I will add up later... Here are the introduction and the body!

Today, men play a role as important as women in bringing children up and looking after them. Men and women also have equal rights so they take equal responsibilities to their children. It is argued that fatherhood should be considered as important as motherhood. I strongly believe the idea that women are born to be mothers doesn't mean that they are responsible for nurturing children alone.

Firstly, children are results of the love and the combination between both men and women so men also must have duties for raising children. Apart from that, men and their children have strong connections, as a result, fathers always influence in children's personality. It is very important to children to be well cared for and educated from both their parents. The lack of care from fathers can have a negative impact on the development and thinking of children. For example, in some developing countries, children who live without fathers by any reason are vulnerable and they usually find difficult getting on well with their friends. They also tend to be shy and weak in comparison with their peers who luckily are educated by parents.